How Technology Changed My Life

When I first started work, I only had a pager.  For those of you who remember, these are small gadgets that one could call with the phone number that you want the owner to call back on.  Often, my dear husband (at that time my dear boyfriend) and I would send each other codes like 9-12-21 to say "I love you".  Basic but it worked.   Other than pre-arranged codes, there was no other way of contacting each other on the road and we all lived that way.

So in came the mobile phones.  My dear husband skipped lunches to save for a mobile phone for me.  It was an Ericsson (Sony has not bought Ericsson yet) and probably twice the size of any average phone now.  All it could do was call out, receive calls - there was no option to do texting or play games, much less surf the web or take pictures.

I cherished that phone.  It was a sign of my dear husband's devotion to my well being.  It lasted for years and was really reliable.  It meant that there were less missed connections and we were able to get each other easily.

Then there was the laptop.  The first laptop I got was a company issued machine that was used by my predecessor.  It was a chunky Toshiba and would hang several times a day, despite my best efforts to keep it in good health.  I assured you that it was sweared at quite a few times a day.  It was really heavy and I would get a sore shoulder carrying it around to my client sites for meetings. 

Every few years, I would get my laptop upgraded (company policy to keep up to date technologically).  I cannot remember all the in-betweens but my latest is a Fujitsu Lifebook, T series - a slick tablet, barely 1.3 kg in weight - not topline but compared to my chunky Toshiba, this is a godsend.

Between my mobile phone and my laptop, and all the fantastic technological advancements, I was able to answer emails, prepare a client presentation, do a conference call with my workmates, update my status on Facebook, chat with my friend via Instant Messaging whom I have not seen in a while online, put in an online order for my son's birthday cake, play some games for relaxation, research on the recipes for Sunday lunch, see if my ebay item has been bought, take pictures of my kids and uploading it on Flickr, text a happy birthday wish to my sister, sync up my Outlook calendar on my mobile phone so that I would not miss my appointments and more.

I could live my whole life like this.  In reality, I could stay at home the whole day and yet still able to do what I did 10 years ago at probably half the time.

How has it changed my life?  Let's talk about the good things first.  I am more productive and efficient.  This gives me the sense of achievement that would be few and far between in the past.  I am able to juggle better as a working mother, knowing that I could pay a bill online rather than having to queue up at the bank.  Information is just a click away so I am better informed and able to make better decisions.  I am better connected to my friends and their lives.  Things move faster with the phone and Instant messaging, thus issues get resolved faster as well.  As my kids belong to the generation of instant gratifications, by being up to date, I am staying relevant as a parent and also able to communicate with them in terms they understand.  I am writing this post, sitting at the bar counter in my kitchen - thanks to wireless technology - and having a cup of coffee at the same time.

There is always 2 sides to a coin.  Being more productive and efficient means that I am expected to do more as a professional.  This means that I am always on and stress levels go up.  Text messages from workmates and clients come around the clock; once they see you online on instant messaging, before you know it, it is 1 am in the morning.  Distraction by technology is also an issue in my life.  I often catch myself or dear husband pouring over Facebook updates and games on a weekend when we really should be spending time with family.  Every text message has to be answered and every email has to be responded to.  My kids are also addicted to surfing the web or watching videos or playing online games.  If they were not allowed to use the computer, the complain I get would be, "But I am bored!  What should I do?".  When did kids start not know what to do with free time?

For the last few weeks, I have been shutting down my laptop and leaving it off for the entire weekend.  It is liberating and on every Monday, there is never anything that is even close to the sky falling down!  I am working on ways to changing my habit to deal with the downside of technology. 

What have you been doing to get back the part of your life that technology has taken away?

PS : I later found in my inbox an article from Simple Marriage on a similar topic, title "Leave Your Work (Mostly) At Work"!  Enjoy!

Managing Family Finances - Planning

This is Part 1 of a 3 part series on tips and tricks of managing family finances. 

With a growing family of 6, it is prudent that my dear husband and I are careful with all our resources.  Of course the root of all our resources is really money.  So, if we manage our money well, then each dollar would go a longer way in providing our needs.  This is not to say we turned into tight wads, but it is more not to squander our hard-earned money on poor purchases or extravagant spending.  What I am going to be sharing is based purely on personal experience and in no way, be viewed as professional advice.

In the first part, I would like to share some of the measures we put in place for our long terms goals and emergency financial readiness.

1  Have a will done
We have been advised early on in our planning by our financial adviser to have will done.  Being the sandwich generation of having 4 kids and 4 parents to support, it is imperative that we have a plan should anything happen to us.  Having a will done here in Singapore amounts nothing more than a few decisions (e.g. who to execute your will, who will be the legal guardians of the kids), some time, and a fee to the lawyer.  After going through it, I strongly recommend that you put this at the top of your priority list to safeguard your family's future.  Another thing to note is that, after the will is done, it should be revisited every few years to make sure changing needs are met (e.g. additional kids, change in financial status)

2  Sort out your insurance strategy
I am no expert and leave it to them to advise on the various products on the market.  For us, we approached an independent financial adviser to help us evaluate this portion.  As he is not attached to any individual firm, he had access to products from many different companies.  As such, we were able to compare the features and premium attached to each product and evaluate more fairly what we need.  After the exercise we had the following in place:

- Life Insurance
  This was in place before we spoke to our FA, the decision is to keep it going as the coverage is fairly complete.

 - Health Insurance
  Even though we each have various forms of health insurance from our employers, we wanted to make sure everyone in our family is covered in a comprehensive surgical and hospital plan.  We figured, the payments for normal illness would be affordable but we don't want to be hit with things like cancer, organ transplant, heart attacks, strokes, which requires long term expensive care. 

- Education Plans
  In Singapore, we contribute 20% of our gross income into CPF (Central Provident Fund) that we can use for housing, education, healthcare and retirement.  By the time our first 2 kids are ready to attend university, we should have enough to fund a local university education for both.  However, for our next 2 kids, the funds may already have been depleted.  Thus, we bought 2 education plans with an annual premium.  This will ensure that we have a plan in place for their future educational needs.

- Home Insurance
  Most Singaporeans, whether living in public or private housing, would have some kind of home insurance in place.  However, these normally only cover the external areas of the housing.  So any fire or theft INSIDE the housing will not be covered.  Losing all the valuables and especially our precious family photographs is painful enough.  This is something I bought to ensure that we get to replace the contents of our house. 

- Home Mortgage Insurance
  Again, most of us would have some kind of insurance if we are in public housing.  The premium is usually a really small price to pay.  Should one of the spouses dies or has a permanent disability, this insurance would cover for one or both mortgage payments.  For private properties, this is especially important since the mortgage is usually much higher than for public housing.

3  Start an Emergency Fund
The usual standard that you will read everywhere is to have at least 6 months worth of expenses saved up in your Emergency Fund.  My suggestion is to have a up to a year.  This is my reason - a large part of our income is going towards payments of mortgage, car and insurance premiums, thus, if I lose my job, I may not have much time to reduce that amount.  It takes time to sell the car or adjust the payment amounts on the mortgage and insurance premiums, which may take a few months.  Having an Emergency Fund of up to a year's worth of expenses would give us the time we need to adjust the family spending and put in other strategies to increase income.

4 Invest Invest Invest
Old advice I know, but very important.  A lot of my friends choose to be conservative and not invest or invest in instruments that result in low returns.  Time is on my side, I choose to invest slightly aggressively while educating myself on the various instruments.  When I talk to my financial advisor, I am well informed and thus, able to make good decisions around what to invest.  This will make sure my money work hard for me in the long run.  Yes, we win some we lose some - the eventual goal is to have a good net positive on the returns of investment.  Not investing will ensure I will not have any growth at all.  In fact, with inflation, not investing is a sure way of ensuring my money drops in value.

5 Manage your debt
Seems like the most common sense thing to do.  This needs to be employed in tandem with the above strategies.  If not, all the growth that we gain will be eroded our debts.  My debts at this point of my life includes housing and car loans - these are relatively low interest loans.  I avoid all kinds of consumer debt e.g. outstanding balances on my credit cards or credit lines.  I pay up every month.  I go as far to consolidate my credit cards and have no credit line.  If you have a healthy Emergency Fund, you really do not need a credit line.

In the next part, I will be covering tips and tricks that I use on a daily basis to stretch every dollar we earn.

Moving House

Okay the deed is done.  I have finally moved my family of 6 with 10 years worth of stuff.  In the midst of closing a million dollar deal at work.

It took more than a month to plan, pack, move and unpack.  I was also crazy enough to move a week before Chinese New Year.  Tensions were high in the household with the lack of sleep and the many decisions that have to be made at short notice.  I highly do not recommended it and certainly do not want to inflict this even on my worst enemy (well, maybe if it is the worst one!). 

And yes, the rumour is true.  Unpacking is way scarier than packing.

After my very "harrowing" experience of moving, here's a list of tips and tricks that may help to reduce the pain.

1. Tools
   
   Here's a list of tools you may need for the move :
   a. Moving boxes
   b.  Marker pens in various colours - Black for writing and Red for labeling
   c.  Packing Tape - Plastic for sealing and paper for labeling
   d.  Old newspapers and bubble wrap - For breakables
   e.  Pen
   f.  Clipboard with lined paper
   g. A basket or bag to carry everything in
   
   Putting all your tools in one basket or bag makes sure you don't lose anything in the process of packing.
   


2. Declutter
   
   Before you move the junk you may have accumulated over the years, from one home to another, consider decluttering first.  For me, I threw away at least 40% of the stuff in my old home.  This ensured that I not just move everything, but only things that are useful or that I cannot live without.
   


3. Organise
   
   After you declutter, you should organise all your stuff into boxes or storage containers that you could essentially just place directly on new storage space.  For example, dear husband packed the tool box and cleaned it up before the move.  When it got to the new place, we put it directly into the yard cupboard.  It was the same with the first aid kid, my art materials and the sewing tools.  I also organised the kids' stuff this way.  After the moving was done, I could ask my kids to pack their own rooms.  It was much easier for everyone not needing to run around the house looking for their own stuff.
   


4. Categorise
   
   Make sure that when you pack those moving boxes, you label the following things on the box :
   a.  A running number
   b.  The room it should go to e.g. Master Bedroom
   c.  The representing letter for the room e.g. MB
   d.  The contents of the box e.g. Financial Files
   Other items such as chairs or electical applicances should also be labeled. 
   
   This helps with 2 things :
   a.  On moving day, all the rooms / areas in your house should be labeled e.g. I put a big label on my Master Bedroom door that had red letters "MB" on it. This helped the movers move the boxes to the correct room / areas of my house, WITHOUT me telling them.  So everything that has "MB" labeled on it will be move to the room with the "MB" label.
    b.  If there is an urgent need, you know exactly which box to open for a certain item since it is properly labeled.
   A list is then kept of all the boxes / items.  After the move, it can also serve as a checklist to make sure you have not lost anything.  In the event an item is lost, you can claim for insurance easily, since you know exactly what is in the box.
   
   One more thing, do not overpack!  You do not want the boxes to give way and all your stuff on the floor during the move.
   


5. Moving
   
   a.  Make sure you have the tool basket described in 1 with you, together with a prepared cheque for the movers.  This way you will not be hunting for your cheque book in the midst of all the mess.
   b.  Engage the help of family or friends to be lookouts during the moving process.  Some can be at the old place and some at the new.  Additional pair of eyes is useful for both security as well as to make sure everything that needs to be moved is moved.
   c.  Get ready cleaning cloths at the new place as furniture and shelves may need to be cleaned before unpacking.
   d.  Protect any new furniture that may have been moved in before moving day.
   e.  Best if you could engage family or friends or a baby sitter to watch the kids.  This is really not a family activity, at least not for me, since I want it done quick and fuss free.
   


6. Unpacking
   
   Set yourself a target and finish unpacking in that timeframe.  This is because if you don't have an end date, you end up with one of two things.  You either never finish unpacking that last 5 boxes of stuff and they sit in the corner of your study OR you are constantly unpacking for the next year that you live there.  Because we have a hard stop date of the Chinese New Year, we took vacation leave from work, left the kids with their grandparents and then worked really hard for a week to get unpacked.  No, we still have not really unpacked some of the smaller boxes but they are where they should be.

Most of the move is still really hard work, but all the above tips should put you in a better position to manage the process and actually leave you some time to enjoy the new home!  Happy moving!

It's All About Choices

It is all about choices, isn't it?  Life is made up of choices that we all have to make.  To marry or not, to marry this person or that, to have kids or not, to have 2 kids or 4, to work or stay home, to trust or not, to love or not - these are all choices.

Right or wrong, good or bad - we also have to live with the consequences of our choices.

Ever since I became a mother 10 years ago, I have been struggling with this one choice that I made.  Although you can say I don't have much of a choice since we were just starting off our lives and money was important to our survival.  I chose to continue working instead of staying at home with my son. 

Subsequently, every year, I had the opportunity to revisit this choice but I never really did.  At that time, I work from home.  So even though I was working in my bedroom, I could occasionally take breaks and play with my son.

I had 8 years of bliss.  I held a great job that allowed me to hone my skills professionally and yet allowed me more connection and time with my family.  These 8 years saw me raise 3 kids.  Funny enough, during these 8 years, I often lamented about how nice to be able to work in an actual office with actual colleagues.  After 8 years, the company I was working for decided that they would have an actual physical office instead of virtual ones. 

I never knew what hit me.  It might not have been apparent to my colleagues, but my family felt the change.  In a big way.  I struggled every single day trying to cope with the change.  I was like the duck, seemingly calm above the surface, gliding along, but underneath the surface, I was paddling like crazy.

I don't think I ever recovered from it.  I am still paddling but not as crazy as before.  Why?  Because I made some choices to keep some things the way they were and to give up other things.

This choice that I made 10 years ago, I struggle with it every single day.  My babies are growing up and I am not there enough to see it.  I crave to have more time with them, to understand and discover them, to stand by them and comfort them.  I want to stay at home and watch them grow but more than ever, I need to have a constant stream of income. 

I see my friends all around me struggling with that as well.  You might say I should get comfort from that, but I don't.  Everytime I see a Facebook update on how they are struggling with their own problems - trying help kids adjust to school life, friends fall ill because they have no help, not enough time to love their kids - I feel sad.  Like I say, we have to live with the consequences of the choices we make.  They may not be choices that we want to make but choices we have to make - either way, we have to live with the consequences.

I know this seems like a sad and depressing post.  It is meant to be.  However, by recognizing and admitting to the conflicts and dilemmas that I face on a daily basis, by identifying my challenges - I then see how I can overcome them, how I can then make other choices that can get me out of this conflict, this dilemma. 

I know I will, I just need to choose to make that choice.

Best Sweet Potato Chips in the World

“Said Aristotle unto Plato,
'Have another sweet potato?'
Said Plato unto Aristotle,
'Thank you, I prefer the bottle.'”

Owen Wister (1860-1938) American novelist

I am with Aristotle on that one.

The best food in life is the food that has the least messing around.  No insecticides, no preservatives, no additional processing, no over seasoning. Cooking for my family and friends, I find that the recipes that worked best often are the simplest and has the least amount of cooking.  If you think that by spending a long time in the kitchen, whipping up an elaborate meal is a show of culinary prowess, it is more than further from the truth.  All family and friends want, is really spending time with you.  I have had many meals with just 1 main dish or with half the meal bought, and everyone had loads of fun.

I love chips; potatoes, parsnip, sweet potatoes, yam, lotus root (yes, I tried that and it was heavenly), anything that I can slice (and are root vegetables!) I can make into chips.

I made these sweet potato chips once as a side dish to steak and mushy peas.  The chips became the highlight of dinner and my brood of 4 kids and 1 husband were delighted and gave it more marks than the steak and mushy peas, which took a longer time.  Needless to say, I was surprised as it had not taken much effort.  Here's what I did.

Best Sweet Potato Chips in the World

Ingredients

3 large Sweet Potatoes

Method

1. Remove the skin off the sweet potatoes and soak them in salt water as you work.  Sweet potatoes tend to oxidise when cut and turn an unattractive brown.


2. Using any vegetable peeler, slice sweet potato lengthwise into thin slices.


3. Dry them thoroughly with kitchen towels/clean tea towels and place in fridge to dry out for about 1 hour.


4. I used vegetable oil but you could pretty much use any frying oil.  Deep fry them until slight golden brown.


5. Serves 4 as a side and 1 as a greedy craving.

I have used them as sides but you could use them for family movie nights or a starter.  I have never tried them with a dip yet but I encourage you to try with your favourites.  How about also experimenting with other vegetables?  I would love to hear what works for you!

Why I wrote my last post

If you read my last post, you will see that I listed out the ways that I found work for me as a working mother - Juggling Work and Family.

What I did not explain was why I wrote my last post.  Although it was a challenge from dear husband to list the ways I cope with my busy life, it was my first born son that inspired the last post.

We were chatting (yes I do have time to chat with my kids!), and he told me about his friends in school.  They complained that their parents are always too tired to do anything with them.  Normally they would have 1 or 2 other siblings.  Most have live-in helpers as surrogate caretakers, although some have grandparents.  Others may even lived with their grandparents and only see their parents on weekends.  What puzzled him was why we did not have a live-in helper, our kids did not stay with the grandparents and yet quality time with 4 kids is not eroded.

Now, you must understand that I have a very special little boy here.  He thinks in a very different way from his peers and even from us.  So when he talked to me about this, I was not surprised at all.  I explained that perhaps their parents work long hours and was really drained at the end of the day.  He pointed out that we too were tired, but we still spend time talking to them and doing things together.  Plus, if his friends has a live-in helper, then would that not help the parents not be too tired from the house chores? (and yes we do the house chores ourselves!)

I could tell my efforts in trying to give him time daily from my busy schedule was important to him.  This conversation reminded me that he needs me to be in his life and that he needs to be in mine.  That every conversation, every sharing, every game, every movie, every holiday, every "Mummy, mummy, I have something to show/tell you" answered is important to him.  Even every argument, as I am at least there to have it with him! 

My quest does not stop here.  Although my son may think I am doing a great job, there is always room for improvement.  So I simply have to keep challenging myself to find new ways to keep improving the quality of my interactions with him and being there for him. 

I hope that when the time comes, he will come to me and say, "Mummy, there is this girl...", and I will be more than happy to part of that chapter of his life.

Juggling Work and Family

"How do you manage?"

I get asked that question a lot.  My cheeky answer is always,"I don't.  I struggle."  While that gets lots of laughs and knowing grins, working mothers do REALLY want to know how to manage better. 

After much trial and error, I finally have a method to all the madness, juggling a full time job with a large growing family, that works for me.  Hopefully these practical tips and tricks would also help you in keeping insanity at bay.

1. Draw the line between work and home
   I have outlined how to do that in my previous post - How to draw the line between work and home.


2. Have strict time routine
   This is a a strictly enforced rule in my household.  For instance, bedtime for the kids is at 9pm.  No bargaining, no negotiation, no exceptions.  Even on weekends and schoool holidays (okay, perhaps we bend it sometimes).  This ensures that I have a few hours of time spent either with my dear husband or just some alone time.  The other time routines are waking times, mealtimes, time to move out in the mornings - by keeping to these times strictly, the family knows what to expect and can manage themselves accordingly.


3. Unclutter your life routine
   For instance, I do not cook a separate meal for the younger kids when they turn 2 years old.  This will take 1 thing off my very long list of things to do.  Another thing I do is not to visit the supermarket daily.  I have a running shopping list and try my utmost best to visit only once a week.  This saves time and money.


4. Reduce your committments
   Having another new fanangle enrichment class for your kids, or saying yes to serving in another committee is not going to help you in your quest for balance.  Give time to the only ones that really matter to you and your family.  Remember that most times, when you say yes to such committments, you are in effect saying no to spending time with your family or no to having time to yourself.


5. Delegate
   Not just to husbands or helpers, but to your kids.  My older kids are 10 and 8 years old.  They can make simple breakfasts and snacks for themselves and others, help the younger kids with dressing up and going to the toilet, help to watch their siblings when we are busy with other tasks and also clear and wash their own used cups and dishes.  Before we leave the house, one would open the door and the other would close all the windows in the house.  This not only relieves me from the nitty gritty tasks, it also trains the kids to be more independent.


6. Relax!
   Nevermind if the beds are not made on some days or the children eats junk on others.  By not wanting to always be perfect, I am a more relaxed mother and can focus on things that really matter like understanding and talking to my kids.  Surprise surprise - my dear husband in turn is also more relaxed and therefore, more loving to me.


7. Carve out time for your marriage and yourself
   The "after 9pm" time slot is fiercely guarded, as illustrated in my previous post - No.  The time with my dear husband is important in keeping our love and passion alive.  I also have alone times that I spent sleeping, playing games or writing.  This makes sure that I have time to be me and not just mum or wife.  Guess what that does to my soul?


8. Work with your husband
   While it is nice to have a husband who could read your mind and do the things you want him to do (let's not get ahead of ourselves), most times, it is actually more efficient and effective to tell him (gasp!).  My dear husband tells me it is a relief to know what I want and need exactly as he can then proceed to meet those needs.  Hmm, looks like another post to help our dear husbands!  Stay tuned, gentlemen!

What do you do that works for you in mastering the delicate task of balancing your life?