Family Resolutions

Okay, last day of the year...last ditch effort to fulfill 2009 resolutions.  Time to also make the 2010 ones.

Two days ago, I initiated a family resolutions making session.  Everyone in the family who can understand the concept was asked to come up with activities that we can do as a family.   I tried this before last 3 months of 2009 and it worked really well.  An additional column was added to each activity to track the date that we achieved it.

This is our list.  We came up with 15 so that we would have 1 for every month and 3 extra.

1. Go to Wild Wild Wet. 


2. Play a family board game.


3. Go to the playground.


4. Go to Hollywood Dinos at Jurong Bird Park.


5. Read the book, "Raising Your Family EQ".


6. Create a family blog.


7. Go overseas on a family trip.


8. Eat durians in an open air durian cafe.


9. Watch a movie together.


10. Have a barbeque.


11. Cook/Bake together.


12. Go to Sentosa for a short weekend trip.


13. Go to a new park.


14. Go for a family pinic.


15. Go fishing.

What does your family like to do together?  Make a list and at the end of the year, celebrate your family spirit!

Great Expectations

As the year closes and the new year comes upon us, did 2009 meet your expectations?  What expectations do you have of 2010?

Did you get the promotion at work or the raise you expected?  Did you close the deal you were hoping to close before the year end?  Did you change your job?

Did your kids' results from the year end exams meet your expectations?  Did the renovations for the new house finish on time?  Did your investments recover as much as you expected?  Did your husband buy what you wanted for your birthday?

I have expectations of myself and others that I want met.  Of course, life being life, these are either not met at all or not met quite the same way I wanted.  The world cannot revolve around me and not everything will go my way, if ever.  These then contributed to the built up of disappointments that may then change my attitude towards life or to others around me.

When my kids don't get ready in time for school in the morning, I end up yelling and screaming for them to hustle.  I neglect to see that they cannot read my mind and thus, do not know that today I have an early morning meeting and need to be early at work.

When the ballet school teacher failed to tell me that my daughter's ballet lesson was canceled, I threw a fit in the car about how irresponsible and unorganised she was.  What I should have been doing was to celebrate the good fortune of having an extra hour of free time!

When my dear husband suggested eating out, forgetting that I had previously planned to cook lunch, I sulked and agreed grudgingly instead of appreciating the opportunity to enjoy the outing.

When I could not carve out the time from my busy life to write a post, I deemed myself lazy and unmotivated, instead of realising that I was doing pretty good for a working mother with 4 kids.

Mismanaged expectations often go out of control and either change us to something prickly and unlikeable, or prevent us from living life in the now.  Instead of focusing on the "unmet" or "mis-met" expecations, one should really just expect the unexpected, expect things to go wrong, and treat every single one of the met expectations like a bonus.

Easy to say, hard to do. 

In the rare moments that I manage this feat, the bliss and peace I feel is priceless. 

In this new year, I urge you to set realistic expectations of yourself and others.  When resolutions are not achieved at the end of the year, it is often because losing 20kg or getting a pay increment of 2,000 may not be achieveable in the first place.  This is not to say you should not set stretch goals but not so stretched that it is impossible to get to.  So stretched that you would have set yourself up for failure on the first day.

May 2010 be a year of met expectations and satisfied souls!

Growing Old

Calvin:"Why do adults do things so slowly? You'd think the older you get, the more you'd try to cram in because you'd know you've got less time left...By the time I'm old geezer like Dad I'll be going like crazy."
Hobbes:"Oh great!"

Pure logic right?  Less time, go faster...but why do we see the reverse?

I recently saw a video of a 75 year old woman, Paddy Jones, who danced acrobatic salsa in a Spanish talent show.  She said in the interview that she was looking for something to pass time.  To pass time, folks!  I mean she could have taken up cooking or sewing or the likes - but she took on something she loved - dancing.  And boy did she take it to a whole new level!

I was truly inspired by her willingness to put herself out there and do the things she really wanted to do.  75 year old - she definitely did not have time on her side.  But instead of focusing on the lack of time, she focus on how she can achieve what she wanted to achieve in whatever time she has left.  Everyone has certain stereotypes about how people of a certain age should behave - but who is to say we cannot break those stereotypes?

My own godfather, is 73 years of age.  He swims 3 times a week, jogs for another 2.  He also goes on regular diving trips in places that I didn't even know existed!  The last time I talked to him, he told me that he is getting too old for diving.  Then he said in jest that perhaps he should go try out sky diving now!  Blew my mind!  That is the attitude I want to wear!

Who is to dictate the way I grow old?  Should I not make sure the time I have left is lived to the fullest?  Doing the things I want to do not what I should be doing?  In fact, I should not wait for a "certain" age before doing that.  Carpe diem, my friends!

I want to live life, like there is no tomorrow!  And I want to do it now...I don't have to do sky diving or dance acrobatic salsa.  All I have to do is be true to myself and spend most of the time doing the things that really matter to me.  Granted it may take me a while to get there since I still have a growing family, but that does not mean I cannot start with baby steps today!

So stop surfing the net and start surfing your life!