Great Expectations

As the year closes and the new year comes upon us, did 2009 meet your expectations?  What expectations do you have of 2010?

Did you get the promotion at work or the raise you expected?  Did you close the deal you were hoping to close before the year end?  Did you change your job?

Did your kids' results from the year end exams meet your expectations?  Did the renovations for the new house finish on time?  Did your investments recover as much as you expected?  Did your husband buy what you wanted for your birthday?

I have expectations of myself and others that I want met.  Of course, life being life, these are either not met at all or not met quite the same way I wanted.  The world cannot revolve around me and not everything will go my way, if ever.  These then contributed to the built up of disappointments that may then change my attitude towards life or to others around me.

When my kids don't get ready in time for school in the morning, I end up yelling and screaming for them to hustle.  I neglect to see that they cannot read my mind and thus, do not know that today I have an early morning meeting and need to be early at work.

When the ballet school teacher failed to tell me that my daughter's ballet lesson was canceled, I threw a fit in the car about how irresponsible and unorganised she was.  What I should have been doing was to celebrate the good fortune of having an extra hour of free time!

When my dear husband suggested eating out, forgetting that I had previously planned to cook lunch, I sulked and agreed grudgingly instead of appreciating the opportunity to enjoy the outing.

When I could not carve out the time from my busy life to write a post, I deemed myself lazy and unmotivated, instead of realising that I was doing pretty good for a working mother with 4 kids.

Mismanaged expectations often go out of control and either change us to something prickly and unlikeable, or prevent us from living life in the now.  Instead of focusing on the "unmet" or "mis-met" expecations, one should really just expect the unexpected, expect things to go wrong, and treat every single one of the met expectations like a bonus.

Easy to say, hard to do. 

In the rare moments that I manage this feat, the bliss and peace I feel is priceless. 

In this new year, I urge you to set realistic expectations of yourself and others.  When resolutions are not achieved at the end of the year, it is often because losing 20kg or getting a pay increment of 2,000 may not be achieveable in the first place.  This is not to say you should not set stretch goals but not so stretched that it is impossible to get to.  So stretched that you would have set yourself up for failure on the first day.

May 2010 be a year of met expectations and satisfied souls!