Bliss

It is a Saturday morning. Every Saturday, Hubby and I get to sleep in a little. When I say sleep in, I mean not waking up at 6am.

At exactly 7am, I hear the pitter patter of little feet - namely my 5 year old son - zipping pass my bedroom to get to the remote control first so he gets to watch the rest of the "My Little Pony" series. Followed closely by my 7 year old son, who is now trying to whisper instructions to the 5 year old. For fear of waking us up.

You can recognize the walking sound of my 11 year old girl. She walks, or rather skips, and hums to herself at the same time. I can hear the muffled suggestion she is making and then settling down to watch TV with her younger brothers. There is no noise as my 13 year old teenage son stealthily slips pass my bedroom, bags ("chope" for you locals) the seat to the MacBook.  I hear him occasionally winding his sibs up, but mostly just the tapping of the keyboard and swishing of the mouse.

I turn to face my Hubby. He is snoring gently away peacefully. It is a great picture to wake up to, someone you love sleeping. The warm bed and the gentle breeze blowing through my bedroom. The background of TV, computer and the snippets of sibling conversation.

Bliss.

With the bliss is also the knowledge that time and tide waits for no man. I am running out of time. My babies are no longer babies. They are individuals in their own right. I raised them to be so. That's the way it should be. While I am very proud of each and every one of them, I wipe a tear off the corner of my eye every time I think of them leaving my side to live their own exciting lives.

The breast feeding and diaper changes seem endless when they were babies.  But now that even my 5 year old can make a Nutella sandwich and pour a cup of milk for his breakfast, I wistfully think of the times when they were fully dependent on me. Oh why was I just trying to get it over and done with instead of enjoying the moment?

I know hubby would disagree with me. He is glad all the hard work is done. He misses the times when they were young but he is enjoying the now much more than the past. He still laughs when we recollect the times of silliness but looks forward to our next family outing or holiday

After all, we only have now since we don't know what the future holds. So love and laugh as much as we can today. The past is history and tomorrow can wait.

 

PS: I wrote this entire post while getting my hair washed, cut and treated. And trying to make small talk to my hairdresser without looking like I am ignoring him.

I feel invincible today

I feel invincible today.  Why? Because I did not let anything faze me.

It feels great to be in charge of my life, my emotions, my reactions, and in general all the other stuff in my life.  That is not to say that everything is perfect now.  I still have unpaid bills, unplanned meals, undone laundry and a messy handbag.  But I can find what I need and I know I can put a plan together to do the undone tasks.

Keeping that chin up ALL of the time is a huge effort in itself.  But it is possible, I have seen it in some of my friends.  Nothing seem to push them down for too long and they ALWAYS pick themselves up and move on.  I am working on it.  I know I can do it.  Especially today.

I pledge to deal with bad emotions and vibes positively.
I pledge to be calm and collected in the face of emergencies of any kind.
I pledge to define myself with God and the people who geniuely love me for who I am.
I pledge to keep positive people around me.
I pledge to be a good Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, coach - roughly in that order.

I am letting this invincible feelings wash over the whole of me.  I know I won't be able to hold on to it forever - afterall, life goes up and down.  But for now, I am enjoying it.

10 Things I Love About Me

I started the post with the title "10 Things I Hate About Me", an inspiration to a reality show on BBC Lifestyle Channel, "What I Hate About Me".  Then I thought to myself, there is really too much negativity in the world, why add to it?  Thus, I am going to write about 10 things I love about me. 

Too many times, I hold myself to impossible standards and then, when I cannot achieve my goals, I think very little of myself.  This is a sure fire way of breaking down a person's confidence, self esteem and ego.  I am sure lots of you working mothers out there do the same.  It is difficult to be a super career woman AND a super mum.  Don't beat yourself up too much when things don't go your way.    Think about the things that you do love about yourself.  This will help you to pick up the pieces and move on.

1. I love that I can talk to ANYONE
   When I say ANYONE, I mean ANYONE!  Dear husband is always amaze at how I can be such good friends with the cab driver after a 30 min ride.  I can talk incessantly about the most inconsequential thing.  Annoying sometimes to people around me, but boy, do I melt cold people fast!


2. I love that I know how to use a screwdriver, a spanner and a saw
   During the course of my life, I had to learn to use these tools.  I know some women have never even touch them much less use them!  I am sure if I put my mind to it, I can change a flat tire, change a light bulb and even change my kids' minds that vegetables are the coolest food to eat!  I did set up this blog single handedly!


3. I love that I don't mind making people laugh by being silly
   I don't mind being silly, in fact, sometimes I love it!  This helps me relax and when my friends laugh, it makes me feel good that I contributed to their well being.


4. I love that I can whip up a decent meal with just 5 ingredients in under 20 minutes
   Here's my dear husband's favourite pasta dish - Pesto Pasta

Ingredients
200g long pasta (spaghetti works best)
50g pine nuts
60g bottled pesto sauce (I like Barilla best)
Shaved or grated Parmesan cheese to taste
Salt for cooking pasta

Method
1. Bring to boil salted water in pasta pan or any deep pan.
2. In the meantime, place pine nuts on dry pan on low heat to dry roast, while flipping them ensuring even roasting.
3. Cook pasta according to packet instructions.
4.  Drain pasta, add pesto sauce, Parmesan cheese (the heat will slowly melt the cheese), and the roasted pine nuts.
5. Mix and serve 2 greedy people.

1. I love that I can remember important dates
   Birthdays, anniversaries, tests, coming-back-from-holiday-day - I can remember them all.  Dear husband would look at me in amazement everytime I rattle off the dates.


2. I love that I can cut fruits really quickly and really nicely
   I learnt to cut fruits - even the big old watermelons and honey dews - from the best, my mum!  Even I have to say they are pretty decent and I love to present them attractively on platters when we entertain friends.


3. I love my eyes
   They were God-given and I have received many compliments since as long as I can remember.  Piercingly black, I use them many a times to discipline my brood without a word.


4. I love that I have a soft spot for kids
   Dear husband and I donate money annually to our favourite charities.  Inevitably, the ones I choose are always related to helping children.  I would do anything to protect a child from harm.


5. I love that I am an organizer
   Okay, this may drive some folks around me crazy.  But you have to admit that it is pretty cool to be able to direct someone on the phone directly to a document that is dated 3 years ago on a shelf in the office without being there in person.


6. I love that I have a loud voice
   I have never thought about this as a quality that I love about myself.  This exercise revealed that the volume of my voice is directly related to my vitality and enthusiasm for life.  If you find me quiet, you really should be concerned!

YOUR TURN!

Growing Old

Calvin:"Why do adults do things so slowly? You'd think the older you get, the more you'd try to cram in because you'd know you've got less time left...By the time I'm old geezer like Dad I'll be going like crazy."
Hobbes:"Oh great!"

Pure logic right?  Less time, go faster...but why do we see the reverse?

I recently saw a video of a 75 year old woman, Paddy Jones, who danced acrobatic salsa in a Spanish talent show.  She said in the interview that she was looking for something to pass time.  To pass time, folks!  I mean she could have taken up cooking or sewing or the likes - but she took on something she loved - dancing.  And boy did she take it to a whole new level!

I was truly inspired by her willingness to put herself out there and do the things she really wanted to do.  75 year old - she definitely did not have time on her side.  But instead of focusing on the lack of time, she focus on how she can achieve what she wanted to achieve in whatever time she has left.  Everyone has certain stereotypes about how people of a certain age should behave - but who is to say we cannot break those stereotypes?

My own godfather, is 73 years of age.  He swims 3 times a week, jogs for another 2.  He also goes on regular diving trips in places that I didn't even know existed!  The last time I talked to him, he told me that he is getting too old for diving.  Then he said in jest that perhaps he should go try out sky diving now!  Blew my mind!  That is the attitude I want to wear!

Who is to dictate the way I grow old?  Should I not make sure the time I have left is lived to the fullest?  Doing the things I want to do not what I should be doing?  In fact, I should not wait for a "certain" age before doing that.  Carpe diem, my friends!

I want to live life, like there is no tomorrow!  And I want to do it now...I don't have to do sky diving or dance acrobatic salsa.  All I have to do is be true to myself and spend most of the time doing the things that really matter to me.  Granted it may take me a while to get there since I still have a growing family, but that does not mean I cannot start with baby steps today!

So stop surfing the net and start surfing your life!

25 random things I learnt in the last 10 years

Being a working mother for the last 10 years, there were many things that I learnt either the right way or the hard way.  Here are 25 random things that I learnt, perhaps you have your own 25 things?  Feel free to share!

1. I don't need to prove anything to anyone, except myself and the annoying co-worker.


2. Forgiveness sets me free, so does an occasional glass of wine.


3. I don't have to be perfect.  God and my family will still love me for who I am.


4. Fancy beads, lace and bows will fall off the first time your little girl wears the dress with them on it.


5. Squeaky shoes drive my husband crazy, no matter how cute they look.


6. Drum sets are not good presents for kids, unless they belong to someone you would like to un-friend.


7. Salads and health drinks are balm for my soul.  (Just kidding...Ice cream and chocolate are balm for my soul.)


8. Having an early morning conference call, at home with kids in the background, before coffee, is a bad idea.


9. Saying "No" sometimes is not anti-social.


10. The mysterious stain on my suit is not a very good conversational topic at client meetings.


11. Forgetting to buy the school supplies that your child needs will not make you a bad mother.


12. Letting your kids go hungry sometimes will not automatically result in being arrested by Social Services.


13. Always tell your husband what you need instead of expecting him to read your mind.


14. Laugh.


15. Cry.


16. Pamper yourself as a means to reward yourself for the hardwork.  Handmade cards and hugs are great; but a self inflicted manicure or facial works wonders.


17. Breastfeeding your child is a great experience; but there is no need to feel guilty if you cannot, either physically or emotionally.  It is funny how they will still be okay either way.


18. Always institute a bedtime for your kids; this will ensure you have time with your husband or for yourself.


19. I think my mother is lucky being able stay at home with us; she thinks I am lucky being able to work.


20. Teaching my kids to protect and take care of themselves is more important than being overprotective of them.


21. I reserve the right to be paranoid about my kids. (Nevermind 20)


22. Stress from work should stay at work.  Stress from home should stay at home.  Hard but essential.


23. Learning how to say "sorry" to my kids when I am wrong, is one of the most difficult thing to do.  But it is also the most humbling thing to experience.


24. Clients may be difficult sometimes but they are the reason I have a job.


25. Read as much as you can.

My Favourite Quotes

Here are 10 of the most inspiring quotes for a working mother like me.  May they put the fire back in you and inspire you to take what you are doing with your work and family further than ever before!

"A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary."
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher

"When you live in reaction, you give your power away. Then you get to experience what you gave your power to."
- N. Smith

"A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."
- Eleanor Roosevelt

"You can't help getting old, but you don't have to get old."
- George Burns

"Whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free . . . your true self comes out. "
- Tina Turner

"The most important thing she’d learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
- Jill Churchill

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
- Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture)

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
- Mignon McLaughlin

"For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe."
- Anonymous

"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
—Don Kardong