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"No," I said to my daughter, "I'm sorry but I can't.".  She had requested to do a family activity before bedtime. 

Now to put things into perspective, the regular bedtime in my household is 9pm for the kids.  It was 9.30pm when she asked.  The late bedtime is due to the fact that the family had visited THE newest location to visit - Marina Barrage - in the afternoon, followed by dinner out at a Japanese restaurant.

She then proceeded to sulk and stamped her feet to her bed.  Later, on she complained to her father that we have not done that specific family activity for a while.  My dear husband proceeded to soothe and comfort her, while massive amount of guilt then built up in my heart.  I then shaked my head and stood firm in my decision.

The reason I said no, was because I wanted to protect the couple time we had after the kids go to bed.  This is fiercely guarded by me as I realised that if we don't respect this time, then as a couple, we will not have time alone.  "After 9pm" is a time slot that I treasure and look forward to.  Sometimes we may do our own things quietly; other times, we may do some planning together; but most times we spend the time together, watching TV with a glass of wine in hand.  This makes sure that even in the hustle and bustle of our family life, we still remember that our marriage comes before the children.

What did she just say?  Yes, make no mistake about it, I place my marriage before my children.  If the pillars of the family are weak, then how can the family be strong?  Only when my marriage is thriving that my children would have a secure and loving environment to grow up in.  We will then be setting a good examples for them to follow when they one day become someone else's spouses.

If I were to put my children first, over the years, my marriage would deteriorate.  Even if the big D word never cross our lips, by the time we retire, we will be ready to go our separate ways.  I will wake up one morning and wonder who is this person sleeping next to me.  I want to remember the reason we got married every single day; I want to keep our love and passion alive; I want to grow old with my dear husband.

So whenever I have to make a decision to choose, then more often then not, I will choose to spend time with my dear husband. 

I hear him coming out of the shower, so until the next post...