I have 4 kids and a full time job. Every single day is a challenge, an adventure. In this little island in the far East, our fast paced lives and the social norm of having a dual income family, has changed the dynamics of the traditional view of a family. I grew up in a family of 3 kids, mom is a full time housewife until we were teenagers. Even when she started working, she was there to ensure that we maintain the normality of a traditional family.
As I try to do that for my own kids, who by the way have ages ranging from 1.5 to 9.5 years old, I find it most frustrating. Then I found out from my friends and colleagues, that they do have the same frustrating experience. My husband is a pretty hands on father, and he too finds time lacking and quality not up to what he would like.
Over the 10 years that I have been a mother, I also had to deal with the full time job that I have - datelines, meetings, reports. Every day is a constant tug of war, a delicate balance that I have to find. Somedays I do good, others not so, and there are some days that I hope I never have to experience ever again in my life.
Nevertheless, here are some things that I do to keep my sanity and my balance between work and family.
1 Keep work at work and home at home
It is so important to leave my work at the door and be really present for my family. I am still struggling with this one as I try to keep the 2 parts of my life separate. On days that I am able to, I feel great about myself that I am able to keep in control. Draw the line and compartmentalise your work and your home.
2 Let go of the guilt
As I had the luxury of working from home a month after my first child was born until my third was a year old, it was very difficult for me when I had to go back to the office when my fourth was 4 months old. I felt guilty about spending time away from all my children and having less time for them. I realise that guilt is not helping me but dragging me down - I overcompensate or I have difficulty managing my emotions. I now try to find ways to maintain a balance and also make sure that I have quality interactions with them. Let go of the guilt - don't waste your emotions.
3 Don't forget your husband
My husband is my best friend and soulmate. If I don't pay attention to my relationship with him, I would have overlooked perhaps the most important part of my life, next to God. I try to spend time with him having meals together, dates and doing our all time favourite activity - watching TV. If you have to choose spending time with your husband or your children, choose your husband everytime. A good marriage pave way for a good family. Best gift for your kids.
4 Don't forget yourself
How do I stretch that 24 hours to include myself? I barely have enough for work, kids and husband. One advice - just do it. If I don't then I would have shortchanged all my love ones and my career. Only when I take care of myself can I produce good work and a well managed family life. Even 1 hour a week works wonders for me. Take the Nike advice and just do it.
5 Pray
Praying works for me and perhaps for you, it is meditation. I guess my point is to have a place to park your worries and cares. No, it does not mean that I will behave irresponsibly. It is just a means of temporarily freeing your mind and refresh your soul. This way, I get energise and refocused to continue the journey.
What do you do to keep that balance?
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