Breakfast Menu

"Mummy, I really appreciate you making the effort to make interesting breakfasts for me every morning!", says my 10-year old son.

Music to my ears really.  While I hardly ever have difficulty coming up with lunch or dinner menus, breakfast eludes me.  For some unfathomable reason, many times at breakfast, I am at a loss at what to serve my hungry family. 

I find myself looking at breakfast cookbooks or the breakfast section of the cookbooks, looking for inspiration.  Although the current repertoire of breakfast foods I have seems extensive, some of these are similar foods e.g. pancakes, french toast and waffles are all served with maple syrup, so you cannot really serve them on consecutive days.  In fact, I am even reluctant in serving them on the same week.  However, my kids does not mind eating pancakes every week.  Funny how they seek the comfort in familiar favourites.

After much experimenting and researching, here are the ways I try to make normal breakfast food interesting.  I am sure you have your own ways too.

1  Oatmeal
Other than serving them plain, I add on raisins, sliced bananas and/or strawberries.  I also serve it once with lightly fried honey baked ham.  I like oatmeal as it is healthy and easy to prepare.

2  Pancakes/Waffles/French Toast
Maple syrup is a staple with these.  I also tried chocolate, caramel and strawberry sauces with success.  After I introduced the kids to eating pancakes with maple syrup and fried ham/bacon, they constantly ask me for the savory sides.  I recently saw a friend's Facebook post on how to make personalised pancakes and tried them one morning (probably good for another post).  I still have room for improvement.

3  Bread/Bruschetta
Other than butter and peanut butter on bread, I have also tried toasted cheese sandwiches, tuna fish sandwiches, jam spreads (including the local kaya, which is coconut jam).  If I have some rustic country loaf, I would slice them and dry toast them on a dry pan, then top with sauteed portobello mushrooms with garlic or scrambled eggs with salt and pepper.

4  American Breakfast
This one would include an assortment of ham, sausages, eggs (all ways), sauteed button mushrooms with cherry tomatoes, hash, all served with toasted sliced bread on a large plate. 

5  Store Bought Baked Goods
This one is used a lot by my husband.  In Singapore, other than finding a cafe or coffee shop at every turn, is a confectionery shop.  This is usually a bakery that sells bread of every kind, cakes and even local snacks like curry puffs or kueh (sweet usually steamed cakes).  This is great for variety when we are tired or if we have run out of ideas what to serve.

6  Local Favourites
I have also done the local favourites like "ju gwei" (steam rice cakes with minced stew preserved radish) and "chee cheong fun" (steam rice rolls with sweet sauce and toasted sesame seeds).  These are bought cold and stored in the fridge until needed.  They don't keep so I have to use them within 2 days of buying them.  I would steam them for 5 mins in boiling water, then served with the appropriate condiments.  Sometimes I would also include dim sum items like "har gao" (prawn dumpling) and "siew mai" (meat dumpling) that could be bought from the chiller section of the supermarkets.

7  Sliced Fruit
My family loves fruit.  I would cut a variety of fruits and serve them during breakfast as a side to the main breakfast dish.  This is also my favourite item should I be travelling for business and eating at the hotel buffet.

These are some of the more common items on our family's breakfast menus.  Some of the other items I have tried with some success are breakfast burritos (scrambled eggs and cubed sausages wrapped in tortillas), quesadillas (shredded roast chicken with mozzarella cheese, toasted on dry pan between 2 tortillas), brie slices on plain water crackers, although they prefer the latter 2 items for supper.

All in all, my kids love their breakfasts and are always challenging me to make something different.  So, I will continue to go where no working mother has gone before on the breakfast frontier.  Who's with me?

The Importance of Being Grateful

My husband gave his a co-worker a ride today.  They chatted in the car and when he got back, he shared her story with me.  Her name is Rachel*.  She and her husband Dan*, are Malaysians working in Singapore.  For those of you out there who are not aware, geographically Malaysia and Singapore are close neighbours.  It is very common for folks to travel for work in the neighbouring country.

Since they are on work permits, they are living in rented public housing.  They have 2 small children back home in Malaysia, but they do not see them often.  Rachel is a hardware technician while Dan works as a technician in an oil refinery.  They receive relatively low wages due to their lower educational background.  Dan often have to pick up overtime, from 8.30am to 10pm at night, so as to work towards a better future.

Then, there is another story of Ling*.  She, like Rachel, works here in Singapore from Malaysia.  Ling and her husband, Lee*, just had a baby girl.  But as she is not a Singaporean, she only gets 2 months of maternity leave instead of 4.  After 2 months, she left her baby in her hometown in Ipoh to come back to work here in Singapore.  Due to their low income, they can only afford to go back to Ipoh every few months.

My husband also shared a story he heard from a friend.  Many people from rural China leave their hometowns to get a job in big cities.  They beg and borrow and scrap up enough money to make the trip to the city.  There they work in hard labour jobs with low wages.  Often, these men are not able to visit their families for years on end and some for the rest of their lives.  Their families live from hand to mouth on the wages the men send home and are seldom able to visit them as well.

It is when I hear of stories of hardship like these that I remember that I have a lot to be grateful about. 

I am lucky to have parents who insisted on a good education and pushed me to achieve what I can.  With a degree, I was able to get a good job.  With a good education, it provided me with strong and solid stepping stones to get to where I want to be.  I am grateful to have a strong a supportive family and family in-law.  I am grateful that even with 4 kids, my husband and I can enjoy the occasional Starbuck coffee or a 3 day holiday in Phuket.

I am grateful that I get to see my kids grow up.  I have the chance of being close to them and be a support to them.  I get to see them florish under my care and sprout strong wings to fly.  I am grateful for my friends who are always there for me, for better or for worse.

I am grateful for my husband, who not only is my best friend and soul mate, but also my pillar of strength.  He is whom I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

Most of all, I am grateful for my faith and the ability to practice it here in Singapore.  I know of people who are ostracised or even killed for proclaiming their faith.

Life is hard, but for some, it is particularly hard.  We can keep complaining about our aches and pain, or we can choose to take them in our stride.  We can stay selfish and only see our own suffering, or we can reach out to others who need a helping hand.  We can lament about how our friends and neighbours are doing better than us, or we can learn to be content with what we have.  We can choose to stay miserable and only exist, or we can choose to be happy and live.

What is your choice? 

*names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals

Negotiation

I negotiate every day - at work and at home.

I negotiate with my manager regarding my workload, I negotiate with my team regarding conflicts in datelines, I negotiate with my peers regarding assignments, I negotiate with my clients regarding what is in scope and what is not, I negotiate contracts and pricing.

I negotiate with my parents regarding babysitting times, I negotiate with the air-condition service man regarding servicing times, I negotiate with my kids regarding bedtimes and homework and dinner, I negotiate with my husband regarding who calls the estate agent to yell at him, I negotiate interest rates with the bank.

I googled  "negotiation" and found on this website a very nice definition of the word.

"Negotiation is the art and science of securing agreement and creating value between two or more parties."

It is more an art than science to me .  You see, I negotiate emotionally.  No, I don't mean yelling, crying or saying hurtful words.  What I mean is that, I sense the emotions in the room, between the parties, and say the appropriate things to make things work.  I also make use of my own emotions - I suppress strong feelings like injustice or anger - but yet let displeasure or difficulty show through if I think it will help.

I may have an end state in my head but I rarely have a step by step plan.  I try not to strive to win but strive to come to common ground, that is, "creating value".  Of course, not every negotiation I have goes well, although it does get better with age.  I will not go as far as to say I manipulate but I know what to say in order to get the other party to come to the same conclusion.  And sometimes, I just say what I need and wait for the other to respond.

And yes, sometimes my emotional negotiation ends up in tears or stomping of feet or slamming of doors, me or the other party.  At that point, it does feel bad.  It does not take me long to buck up and try another tack.  This is when I am in a relatively good place at that point of time.  If not (like if I have had a bad day), I will clam up and not want to do anything.  I am not perfect, but this is something that I am trying to change, to keep my pride in a safe place, and play nice.

If you ask me what is the one most imp0rtant thing I learn through my daily negotiations, I would tell you, the ability to keep an open mind that there is more than one way to solve the problem.  As a person with a strong personality, this is not my strong trait.  I am opinionated and have a rather straight-laced way of solving problems.  Over the years, I have learnt to listen and be open to the possibility that things can be done another way - the other person's way.  This in turn have open my mind and improve my negotiation skills.  The question, "What do you suggest?" now features in my negotiation conversations.

I am sure all you working mothers out there negotiate like I do, on a daily basis.  What is the most important thing you have learnt going about your daily negotiation?  I would love to hear from you.

Evaluation Of My Life

The title of this post suggest that I might be very old, have lots of life experiences or just plain contemplative today.

I am 36, so hopefully not that old, yes do have some life experiences and definitely very contemplative today. I am on leave from work today and this is something I am not accustomed to. You will realise as you read this post that I do not take leave for no reason at all, in case I need them in emergencies. So why have I broken my own rule?

I have a full time job, a large family with 4 kids and multiple family members to manage. I am the wife, mother, business manager, financial officer, doctor, nurse, chef, teacher, disciplinarian, cleaner and whatever people need or want me to be.

I took leave today because I have quite a few days to clear. Simple reason. As I sit here in my home office, I remember the advice I got on how to spend this day.

"Just do nothing, put up your feet and relax and be yourself."
"Go have a massage or just think about your life and what you achieve so far, what you want to achieve going forward."

I pondered over this for a week. This is the day and I still don't have a plan.

I had a bad night with my youngest son and woke up feeling really tired. After sending the kids out the door to the child care centre, I had a quick breakfast with DH. He had to get to work early to day and thus could not have our usual more leisurely breakfast.

I started off switching on my laptop. I even set up a few work conference calls for clients and answered a few emails. Then Facebook. I must make sure I log in so that I get my free ingredients for my game, Restaurant City. Then I proceed to harvest some corn and potatoes in Happy Farm. I read some of the feed and then login to clear my personal mail. 9.30am and still no plan.

It was then that I realise, I don't need a plan. Just do what I want and what I like or what just comes. The point is to take it easy. I don't need to have the usual to-do list that I will check off as the day goes. The point is to rest and not think too much. This crazy world certainly did not help with the increasing pace everyday and the need to achieve and squeeze as much work as possible into the day.

Here am I typing this blog and enjoying myself. Putting in writing one day of my life. Hopefully when I read this in the future, I will be able to gain something about myself and my life. Perhaps even put things into perspective.

Which is the whole point of today right? Okay need to get that nature walk in before lunch so that I can go for a relaxing manicure.

Or not.

Note: This post was originally posted on my personal blog on 17 June, 2009.

25 random things I learnt in the last 10 years

Being a working mother for the last 10 years, there were many things that I learnt either the right way or the hard way.  Here are 25 random things that I learnt, perhaps you have your own 25 things?  Feel free to share!

1. I don't need to prove anything to anyone, except myself and the annoying co-worker.


2. Forgiveness sets me free, so does an occasional glass of wine.


3. I don't have to be perfect.  God and my family will still love me for who I am.


4. Fancy beads, lace and bows will fall off the first time your little girl wears the dress with them on it.


5. Squeaky shoes drive my husband crazy, no matter how cute they look.


6. Drum sets are not good presents for kids, unless they belong to someone you would like to un-friend.


7. Salads and health drinks are balm for my soul.  (Just kidding...Ice cream and chocolate are balm for my soul.)


8. Having an early morning conference call, at home with kids in the background, before coffee, is a bad idea.


9. Saying "No" sometimes is not anti-social.


10. The mysterious stain on my suit is not a very good conversational topic at client meetings.


11. Forgetting to buy the school supplies that your child needs will not make you a bad mother.


12. Letting your kids go hungry sometimes will not automatically result in being arrested by Social Services.


13. Always tell your husband what you need instead of expecting him to read your mind.


14. Laugh.


15. Cry.


16. Pamper yourself as a means to reward yourself for the hardwork.  Handmade cards and hugs are great; but a self inflicted manicure or facial works wonders.


17. Breastfeeding your child is a great experience; but there is no need to feel guilty if you cannot, either physically or emotionally.  It is funny how they will still be okay either way.


18. Always institute a bedtime for your kids; this will ensure you have time with your husband or for yourself.


19. I think my mother is lucky being able stay at home with us; she thinks I am lucky being able to work.


20. Teaching my kids to protect and take care of themselves is more important than being overprotective of them.


21. I reserve the right to be paranoid about my kids. (Nevermind 20)


22. Stress from work should stay at work.  Stress from home should stay at home.  Hard but essential.


23. Learning how to say "sorry" to my kids when I am wrong, is one of the most difficult thing to do.  But it is also the most humbling thing to experience.


24. Clients may be difficult sometimes but they are the reason I have a job.


25. Read as much as you can.

My Relationship with Food

I love food and thus, cannot remember a time in my adult life when I was thin.

I would love to be dramatic and say that I have a love-hate relationship with food; but I don't.  I simply love food.  That's all.  I don't hate food, I am always wanting to taste new food and cook new food.  And of course, the old ones too.

In Singapore, there are 2 favourite pastimes - shopping and eating.  You already know I am not that big a fan of shopping (unless it is food), but I am a HUGE fan of eating, despite struggling with my self image.  Food in Singapore is readily available 24 x 7.  Be it the fine dining restaurants in hotels, or the coffee shops in Geylang, you can always find food almost anywhere and at anytime.

As a child, with my father being the sole breadwinner, money was carefully budgeted and used.  My mother was and still is, a fairly frugal person.  However, when it comes to food, they never stinge.  They put the best quality food they can afford on the table.  I was never hungry and even tasted lots of fantastic dishes that my mother cooked.  It was the best cut of threadfin fish to steam or the freshest chicken parts for the curry.  Even the condiments in my childhood home was of the best quality they can muster.

Fast forward, I am now a mother.  I learnt from my parents' great influence and get the best food money can buy for my family.  My children eats the most interesting food along side the traditional ones.  They love the chicken curry I cook and also the new recipe for Mexican Pork wraps that I made one Sunday.  They get roast chicken with mushy peas lunch or they traditional Cantonese double-boiled soup with dinner.  My husband, who is my equal in loving food, joins the children in giving me feedback on what works for them and what does not.  The result is a repertoire of dishes that are refined and requested frequently.

As a working mother, I often have to come up with quick and easy meals for my large family of 6.  Any recipes that require less than an hour to prepare and serve are favourites.  Stay tuned as I share some of my experiences in managing that area of my home life in future blogs.  For a start, here's a perennial favourite with my kids - tuna fish sandwiches, served with chips and chocolate milk.

Tuna Fish Sandwiches
1 can tun fish flakes (I use chunks but I break them up with a fork)
1/2 large yellow onion, chopped
1 and 1/2 tbsp mayonnaise
1/4 lemon, juice of
a pinch of salt
a dash of pepper (or as much as you like)
margarine/butter for bread (depends on which camp you are on, optional)

1.  Mix everything except margarine/butter in a container with a cover.  The cover is important as you can then refrigerate unused portions for later.

2.  Cover and chill in fridge for at least half hour.  Sometimes the kids cannot wait so we eat it unchilled but it taste better if left for a while to cool off in the fridge.

3.  Spread a thin layer of margarine/butter on sliced bread, topped with a layer of the tuna mayo mixture.  Serve with regular chips or tortilla chips and a glass of milk.  Another good tip is to toast the bread first before layering.

There you go.  I have done this many times for lunch with great success.  To make it a bit more sophisticated for the adults, you can add in lettuce and sliced tomatoes and serve it with a green salad instead.  Change the milk for juice/your favourite beverage, and voila, you have a nutritious and delicious lunch!  Enjoy!