Death

Over the weekend, dear husband's maternal grandmother passed away.

He told me that this is the last of his grandparents.  Actually his exact words were, "I have no grandparents left!".

I felt sad and helpless.  This sorrowful remark of his leads me to think that, this means the next generation is "next".  Deaths of my parents is something that I try not to think about.  Even writing this down is a no-no for my parents' generation.  Talking about death has always been a taboo in my family (still is!).  If the kids ever bring death up, it was always waved away vigorously with a loud, "Choy!", which means, "Bad things begone!".

I thought about how it would be like to lose my parents eventually.

If I forgot how to cook a favourite family dish, I will not be able to just pick up the phone and ask my mum.
If I want advice about gardening, I will not be able to just seek my dad's advice.
Chinese New Year dinner would be a difficult event without either of my parents; as with Mother's Day or Father's Day; and their birthdays.
I cannot just call them to find out how they are or whether they would have time to have tea with me and listen to me complain.

 It is easy to take our loved ones for granted.  We blame it on our busy lifestyles or work or the crazy fact that our children have many enrichment classes. 

At the very end, what is important?  The funeral or the time that was spent with your loved ones?  Does it matter if the funeral is grand and lavish; or the fact that everything that needed to be said was said before death?

I don't think I can ever be prepared for the death of my parents.  But if I make the right decisions and do things right, then when the time comes, I know that I would have done my best in being a daughter that they can be proud of.

Recipe Friday - Homemade Yoghurt

Homemade yoghurt.  You have too much time on your hands?  Not enough to have homemade kids?

Surprising contrary to what I used to believe, homemade yoghurt was unbelievebly easy to make.  The inspiration come from my lovely colleague and good friend, C.  She packed her delicious India lunches and they always come with a nice healthy tub of homemade yoghurt.

I got the recipe off her and finally found time to make it.  It took me less than half an hour to prepare and the rest was just waiting.  The result was a smooth soft natural yoghurt that tasted natural and fresh.  No additives, colourants or sweeteners.  The boys in my family were lukewarm but my husband and daughter absolutely loved it!  We put it on fruits, lentils curry, muesli, cereals or just eat it plain.  And it was half the price of what it would have been if I had gone out to buy it.

Here's what you need to do.

Ingredients
1 cup full fat milk
1 teaspoon natural yoghurt.

1. Bring the milk to boil and simmer it to boil for 2 min. Let it cool down until it is lukewarm.


2. Pour into a clean container. Add a teaspoon of natural yoghurt and leave it over night.


3. If you want yoghurt to be ready in 3 hours, make sure milk is just hot enough to touch.


4. Pour it into small cups of 50 ml and put it inside in a warm covered place, for example the microwave oven. The results will be fresh and will not be sour.

Enjoy your weekend with a fresh tub of homemade yoghurt!

A Life of Simplicity and Detachment

I went to mass as I always do during lunchtime on Wednesday.

It was the Feast Day of St Clare of Assisi.  During the homily, the priest spoke about how she had taken to a life of poverty, abstinence from meat, speaking only when necessary.  A life of simplicity and detachment.  A life focus on the choice she made as a faithful disciple.

Have I lost my focus in life when I rush around busily?  When I tell my 4 year old that I am busy and is unable to read to him?  Or watch my daughter's latest dance moves?  Or not being able to go swimming with them, because I am much too tired from all the housework?  Or wave my eldest away when he tried to tell me the book he just finished?

Have I stop working to live, but instead now live to work?  Have I forgotten how to live and my life is now define by work?  What am I working for?  If it is for a material object, can I do without?

Can I learn to be like St Clare and live a life of simplicity and detachment?

Recipe Friday - Omelettes

Wikipedia defined omelettes as,

"An omelette or omelet is a dish made from beaten eggs quickly cooked with butter or oil in a frying pan, sometimes folded around a filling such as cheese, vegetables, meat (often ham), or some combination of the above. To obtain a fluffy texture, whole eggs or sometimes egg whites only are beaten with a small amount of milk or cream, or even water, the idea being to have "bubbles" of water vapor trapped within the rapidly cooked egg. The bubbles are what make the omelette light and fluffy.  Omelettes may be only partially cooked on the top side and not flipped, even prior to folding."

Omelettes are almost a meal on its own. They have a special place in my heart and they are the ultimate comfort food that is wholesome and satisfying. At the end of a not so good day, an omelette made with love would undoubtedly soothe away the pain.

The key to a good omelette other than the addition of milk or cream and beating well, are the fillings. Here's a list of fillings that would make up a great omelette. I divide them into 3 categories; if you have one from each category, then this could be a full meal on its own.  If you are adventurous, fruits like pineapple or mango would also work nicely.

Dairy
Mozerella
Cheddar
Double Cream
Full Cream Milk

Vegetables
Mushrooms
Onions
Peas
Mashed Chickpeas
Potatoes
Tomatoes
Spring Onions
Chilies
Frozen Mix Vegetables

Meat
Ham
Bacon
Luncheon Meat
Spam
Shredded Roast Chicken
Roast Turkey
Sausages
Chorizo
Canned Spiced Pork Cubes

Here's a quick recipe.

Ingredients
2 large eggs
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup cheese (any kind)
3 tbsp frozen peas, thawed
1/2 onion, diced
2 pcs chili padi, sliced (I like it hot)
3 bacon rashers, sliced

1. Beat eggs and milk vigorously until bubble form. Gently fold in cheese.


2. Fry at medium heat on a well oiled pan, bacon and onion. Do so until slightly brown.


3. Add in peas to heat through.


4. Pour in egg mixture and cooked until bottom is slightly set before scattering the chili slices into the omelette.


5. Fold in half and cook as per personal preference; serve it up as soon as you fold if you prefer it runny in the middle or leave it in the pan for a bit longer if you prefer your eggs set.


6. Serve with a nice cold drink in front of favourite TV program.

Do I have to love my job?

I don't love my job.  Period. 

 Age old discussion about whether it is better to have a job that you don't like but pays well or to have a job that you love but pays okay.

 I am still in the job I have been for the last 13 years (in fact my anniversary is coming end of this month).  I used to love the job, no matter how difficult the work was or how hard the clients were to deal with.  Friends I speak to, always has something to complain about their jobs.  I had none.  In fact, I kept quiet most times because if you allowed me, I would have serenaded about my job.

 So what changed?  Life changed, priorities changed, interests changed, I changed.

 I am great at what I do.  Clients love me, workmates look up to me and love working with me.  There is something about me that allows me to do my job well - everyone tells me everything!  Information is power and that helps me to navigate the intricate maze of human relationships.  I get paid relatively well for it.  But remember, I don't love my job anymore.

 For quite a while I struggled with what I should do.  Quit my job?  Go find a job I really love but perhaps don't pay as well?  Stick to my current skill sets and move to a new environment?  Mostly I struggled with the fact that I don't love my job anymore so why do it?  In my mind, spending 40 hours a week doing something I don't really care for, is not exactly a great use of my time.

 I then came across a few articles on the Internet.  These articles say that I don't need to love my job.  Everyone touted that if you do the job you love, you will be happy and you will perform well.  These articles point out that I should not get bogged down by traditional beliefs.  I come to realise that I don’t need to love my job to do it well.  I pack and organize my closets very well, but I don't love it.

 My feelings about my job has evolved throughout the years.  It is now a means to an end.  Some ends actually.  The means to have a new house (I just moved to a bigger place!), the means to have a lifestyle that my family and I want, the means to go away regularly on vacations, the means to have a better and nicer life.

 These ends are my priorities now - if you look closer , it points to one single priority - my family.  Once I reached this epiphany, things at work seem more bearable and I even catch myself enjoying some parts of it!  I have my ups and downs but staying positive and focused helps a lot in getting the job done.

 So, it is okay not to love my job, as long as I know why I am working.

Encouraging Growth in a Child

Dear husband and I visited a garden last weekend to shop for herbs that I use frequently in my cooking.  All the plants were clearly labeled with care instructions - frequency of watering, how much sun and most importantly, different types of fertilizers.  I commented that they must have tested each type of fertilizer to see with which one would the plant grow the best.  Perhaps grow bigger leaves or larger fruits.

We were talking over breakfast this morning, it was about one of our favorite  topic - our 4 beautiful kids.  They were all different - No.1 is a creative story writer, No.2 a fantastically accomplished dancer, No.3 is a visual artist and No.4 is the crazy musician!  As we joined the dots from the different types of plants to our 4 different kids, we realized that we need to use different "fertilizers" for our different kids.

Kids were gifted to us, created differently.  They have different talents, different interests and different needs.  If we encourage, stimulate and support in the ways that they need, they would flourish and grow to the fullest potential.  Conversely, if we remove the stimulations they need, they may be stunted and will not grow as well.

Port that idea to our modern day life.  No.3 watches a lot of television.  He even calls himself "The TV Man".  I had worry about this and tried on many occasions to distract him with other activities.  Dear husband then made a good point this morning when he said that No. 3 is so visual that he probably needs the stimulation from the television programs.  The images are not merely images, they are tools to him.  Tools and skills that he is building up to be used.  Just on Sunday, our dear boy used 2 spades of different shapes, put them against his face and then proceeded to tell everyone he is a diver.  We were amazed as he would have to have the image in his head to make it up! Trust me, he really looked like a diver!  Obviously he has a very different and interesting visual perspective on things.



Okay lady, you are trying to justify letting your kid watch TV on your blog? Maybe but I think when it comes to my offspring, I will do whatever it takes to help them grow.  If it means going against the general societal norms, I am willing to take the risk.  I did not even talk about the growth in academic performance as I believe that if I "fertilize" my kids in the right way, success will come, with or without academic brilliance.

After all, I am taking a leaf from my daughter's book.

I was told after 4 years of ballet lessons, that anatomically, she is not suitable to be a ballet dancer!  But this was followed by her teachers saying how she has methodically corrected and eradicated each and every one of her weaknesses.  All these time, I had no idea that she was struggling and working so hard to get to the standard that was expected of her.  However, I am happy to say that both dear husband and I were always supportive throughout, whether it was time, money, being there to attend all her performances and moral support before all the events.  Now, with 3 public performances, 2 examinations and 1 competition behind her, she is one of the best dancers in her class.



Perhaps I have a rock star on my hands if I give No.4 an electric guitar and the next Stephen King if I give my eldest professional writing classes?  The possibilities are endless, if we would just allow them to happen.

Recipe Friday - Two-Way Slow Cooker Pulled Pork

The slow cooker is one of the most used kitchen appliance in my home.  I loved the simplicity of use and also the resulting favour extraction from the slow low heat cooking.

This is one of the easiest recipe I have for the slow cooker that looks complicated to make but really it is a dump and leave recipe. 

I took this recipe off Real Simple so all credits to them.  Here for the original recipe.  I have done it first with way number 1, minus the chili powder, and got such rave reviews even from my kids, that I took it to the next level.  With the papadelle, you get a delicious hearty pasta dish that is great for large gathering since you can easily double the recipe.  You can also make more and reheat for lunch the next day with no loss in favour.  However, during the times I have made it, even the excess was lapped up!

Ingredients
2 cups store-bought salsa, plus more for serving
2 tablespoons chili powder (optional if you have kiddies) 
2 tablespoons dried oregano
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 2 1/2-pound boneless pork butt or shoulder, trimmed of excess fat

Way Number 1 - With Tacos

Extra Ingredients
18 corn tortillas
1/2 cup fresh cilantro sprigs
3/4 cup sour cream
1 lime, cut into wedges  
salsa to serve

1. In a 4- to 6-quart slow cooker, combine the salsa, chili powder, oregano, cocoa, and 1 teaspoon salt. Add the pork and turn to coat.


2. Cook, covered, until the meat is tender and pulls apart easily, on high for 4 to 5 hours or on low for 7 to 8 hours.


3. Twenty minutes before serving, heat oven to 350° F/180° C.


4. Stack the tortillas, wrap them in foil, and bake until warm, about 15 minutes.


5. Meanwhile, using 2 forks, shred the pork and stir into the cooking liquid. Serve with the tortillas, cilantro, sour cream, lime, and extra salsa.

Way Number 2 - With Papadelle Pasta

Extra Ingredients
600g papadelle pasta
shaved parmesan cheese to serve

1. In a 4- to 6-quart slow cooker, combine the salsa, chili powder, oregano, cocoa, and 1 teaspoon salt. Add the pork and turn to coat.


2. Cook, covered, until the meat is tender and pulls apart easily, on high for 4 to 5 hours or on low for 7 to 8 hours.


3. Before serving, cook papadelle according to package instructions.


4. Meanwhile, using 2 forks, shred the pork and stir into the cooking liquid.


5. When the pasta is hot, mix in the luscious meat sauce and strewn all over with the parmesan.

Serves 6 greedy family members

Have you hug your kids today?

http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f97/being-special-parenting-child-medical-conditions-15948/

I stumbled upon this forum when I was surfing.  As I read the many posts, tears ran down my face.  It did not help matters when I found out this morning that a girl friend lost her baby at 4.5 months.

How I have taken my kids for granted!  How I have squandered the gifts that my God has so gracefully showered upon me!  How I have been so self-centred, selfish and unloving!

It reminds me of the story that was circulated in the internet some years back. 

It was about this mother, in queue for coffee and complaining about her kids to her friend, saying how messy they were and how frustrated she was cleaning the house.  The woman behind her tap her on her shoulder and told her that her house is clean, there are no footprints, things are never messy.  The reason was because some years back, she lost all her kids in a car accident.  Now she wishes that her house is messy, footprints everywhere and that there are dirty clothes on the floor.

How easy it is to get lost in the daily grind and forget about the important things in life!  I am going back home tonight to hug my kids a second time, kiss them hard and tell them that I love them, no matter what.  I may still nag about the messy house but I will not quite mean it.  I pledge to remember that I must give thanks every single day for my 4 gifts and not only think about myself.

Have you hug your kids today?

Recipe Friday - Roti Jala

 
I am starting a series of my favourite recipes, or recipes that have been given raving comments by family and friends.  Every Friday, you will be introduced to the diet of the Leong family.  Trust me, these will be recipes that are simple (alright occasionally I might do a finicky one) and quick to make.  Remember the 4 kids that I have? 

This first recipe is roti jala, paired with the family favourite of curry chicken.  You can use any curry of your choice.  It is not easy to find this dish in Singapore, although it is widely available in Malaysia.  Google "roti jala" and you will find pictures of the mould, videos of how it is made and even different versions of the recipe.  I found this 2 links very helpful and I took my recipe from Rasa Malaysia, with some of my own modifications.  Still turned out divine!  The videos and tips from The Mini Sam Tan Kitchen was great for those who need something more visual!

Rasa Malaysia - Roti Jala and Malaysian Curry Chicken Recipe
The Mini Sam Tan Kitchen - Roti Jala (Malaysian Lacy Coconut and Tumeric Crepes)

Ingredients:
1 3/4 cup all purpose flour
1 1/2 cup low fat milk
1/2 cup water
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon olive oil

1. Sieve the flour and set aside.


2. In a big bowl, mix all the ingredients well together (except the oil) and strain the batter.


3. Add in 1/2 tablespoon of oil and set aside.


4. Heat up a pan with medium heat and grease it with some oil.


5. Pour some batter into the mold and transfer the mold to the pan.


6. As the batter flows through the holes of the mold, make circular rounds around the pan to form the netty patterns.


7. After the top is set and done or when the bottom turns light brown, transfer the Roti Jala out and fold it into triangle shape.


8. Arrange a few Roti Jala on a serving plate and add some curry chicken on the side and serve immediately.

Some personal notes :

1. I skipped the coconut milk as I did not really like it when I used it the last time.  This recipe is healthy but the coconut one is more fragrant. 


2. I ran our of tumeric so I did not add it, but if you like, you can add 3/4 teaspoon of tumeric powder to the mix to get a nice yellow colour on your roti jala.


3. If you find the mixture too thick, you can dilute with more water.


4. I used olive oil since that was what I had in stock.

Like Nigella, I am a proponent of child labour in the kitchen :) so this is also a great opportunity for for a daughter and mother bonding session!

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be

“Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.” ~ Robert Browning (1812-1889)

My dear husband came up with an activity, for lack of a better word, for every Friday at breakfast.  He said both of us must tell each other something that the other did not know.  This is probably the 4th week now.  It was such a great idea until I had to really think of something.  Afterall we have been married for more than a decade.  What else do we not know about each other?  Funny enough, when the both of us try really hard, we actually could think of things we did not know about each other.  Every Friday breakfast, we have 2 new topics to talk about.  Sometimes, we don't even have enough time to finish our conversation as we needed to get to work!

Imagine, having not enough time to talk about each other!  Not about our stressful jobs, our 4 lovely kids, our wonderful family but about ourselves.  For that half hour every week, I learn more about my husband and he about me.  We reconnect, despite our very busy lives.  For that very short period, the world around us melts into the background and it is just us.

I read this post recently on Simple Marriage,  "Am I too busy for marriage?".  That question loomed large in my mind as I read it.  Am I too busy for marriage?  Do we remember who we are and who our spouse is?  It is so important to see the other person as the person we love and want to spend the rest of our lives with.  Not just the parent of my children, not just the other person with the paycheck, not someone we share our bed with.

My dear husband is also my best friend, confidate, lover, coach and the person whom I chose to journey with.  He may not be everything to me (there is also God, kids and the rest of the clan!), but he means a lot to me.  As he said to my son in the car, "Mummy is very important to me so I want to know everything about her!".

Well, I want to know everything about him.  And yes, grow old with him...

What about you?  Have you found time in your busy schedules to reconnect with your spouse?

My Panties, My Attitude

I have my gorgeous, lacy, blue hipster panty on today.  Okay before you report me to the authorities, let me explain myself.

Wearing that blue hipster makes me feel good about myself.  Makes me feel like a confident, cool and sexy woman; that I could do anything I want.  I know, sounds shallow and trivial right?  But look at the lingerie industry; millions of dollars change hands!  The Victoria Secrets of the world (by the way, my hipster is from VS) are the ones making big bucks (no returns policy!).

I am sure all of the working mothers out there agrees with me (whether secretly or not!) that there are certain pieces of lingerie that inspires us more than others!  I wish I have more of these nice lingerie but sensibility wins most of the time.

As a working mother, my family comes first.  I'd rather pay for a $300 art class for my child than a $300 teddy for myself; a month's supply of food than the newest bra and panty set; pay for the electricity bill than the hipster panty in another colour!  You get the idea.  Most of my undergarments consist of sale items, out of fashion items, items that even grannies would be embarrass to own.  Not items that would help me with my mental image of myself.

The penny dropped for me in my bathroom today as I was putting my hipster on.

I don't have to depend on a piece of undergarment to feel good about myself.  I can feel invincible anytime I want.  All I have to do is to look into my mental cupboard and take out the attitude that would help me feel like a confident, cool and sexy woman.  I can wear this attitude all of the time (no need for laundry) and feel good about myself all of the time!

Now to save up enough dough to buy some gorgeous, lacy new lingerie to match my new attitude!  Shopping anyone?

I feel invincible today

I feel invincible today.  Why? Because I did not let anything faze me.

It feels great to be in charge of my life, my emotions, my reactions, and in general all the other stuff in my life.  That is not to say that everything is perfect now.  I still have unpaid bills, unplanned meals, undone laundry and a messy handbag.  But I can find what I need and I know I can put a plan together to do the undone tasks.

Keeping that chin up ALL of the time is a huge effort in itself.  But it is possible, I have seen it in some of my friends.  Nothing seem to push them down for too long and they ALWAYS pick themselves up and move on.  I am working on it.  I know I can do it.  Especially today.

I pledge to deal with bad emotions and vibes positively.
I pledge to be calm and collected in the face of emergencies of any kind.
I pledge to define myself with God and the people who geniuely love me for who I am.
I pledge to keep positive people around me.
I pledge to be a good Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, coach - roughly in that order.

I am letting this invincible feelings wash over the whole of me.  I know I won't be able to hold on to it forever - afterall, life goes up and down.  But for now, I am enjoying it.

Life Skills Learning for Kids

Children are too dependent on their parents these days.  In Singapore, with both parents working, either the foreign helper or grandparents are the main caretakers.  Instead of holding the children responsible, these caretakers find it easier just to do everything themselves.  It takes too long and it is too tiring to nag at them when you have so many other things to do.

As such, the kids end up not having the necessary life skills to survive in the outside world.  My eldest came back from his Primary 5 Adventure camp with a story of a fellow school mate not knowing how to wash his own plate after meals.  The teachers had to teach him how to do it.  My son was shocked and expressed that he truly appreciated us making him learn how to clean up after meals.  If this boy does not even know how to wash his own plate, what other things does he not know how to do?

Our education system is only meant to make sure all the 3 R's (wRiting, Reading, aRithmetic) are taught.  Often there is no time to delve into the area of life skills too deeply.  Sure, all our schools have activities that help in promoting independence, but it is not enough when these concepts are not reinforced at home.  The boy from the camp may have learnt how to wash his plate at the camp but he would slowly lose that skill if he does not need to do it at home.

Yes, eventually they will learn after many painful experiences and bad decisions.  But instead of pushing them out into the world after formal education with little or no life skills, why not teach them when they are young?  When the stakes are not as high?  When mistakes may be painful but not likely to have permanent damage?  When they are eager to learn?  All it really takes is to weave it into our daily lives.

Both my dear husband and I are working full time.  Like a lot of parents in Singapore, have very little time with them as it is.  However, on the weekends, my kids are expected to help around the house. 

The older kids (9 and 11) are asked to do the following tasks:

• clean up after meals


• fold their own clothes


• help the younger ones with brushing of teeth


• read to the younger ones


• pack their own rooms


• help strap the younger ones in the car if we go out


• help carry groceries from the car


• take out the trash

The younger ones (3 and 5) are asked to do the following tasks:

• pack up the toys after playing


• go to the bathroom and wash their hands without help


• pour their own drinks


• bring their plate and cutlery to the sinks after meals


• dress themselves after showers


• put on their own footwear

In our daily conversations with them, we also tell them (yes even the younger ones):

• how to say no to a pushy salesperson


• what to do during a fire


• how to pack a suitcase


• how to stop a bleeding finger


• educate them on stranger danger


• how to fry an egg


• how to keep safe on the internet


• about sex education


• how to manage finances

Some other things that I would love to teach them down the road are :

• how to read a map


• how to perform the Heimlich maneuver and CPR


• how to grocery shop wisely and look at prices carefully


• how to read a food label


• how to manage conflict more effectively


• how to read a bill


• how to manage stress by learning relaxation techniques


• how to sew a button

It is not enough to be paranoid and stop our kids from living their lives, controlling what they do or who they talk to.  They will grow up whether you like it or not.  Having these skills will help keep them street smart and safe from your worst nightmares.  One day, you will have to let go, and knowing they are well equipped, together with a good education, will help you sleep better at night.

What tools are you giving your kids to equip them for life?

Five-Spice Chicken in Rice Paper

Being a working mother that loves to cook, I relish weekends. It is a time where I could get some time to cook for my family.  I want to be able to leave a legacy of food; food that warms the heart and makes my family feel that they are home. I was lucky to have a stay-at-home mum.  I want my kids to have what I used to have eating at home with my family.

Thus, to prevent myself from falling into a cooking rut, I told myself, for every Sunday dinner that I cook, at least one dish must be new. No cheating, not changed or adjusted, something completely new that my family have never tried. It was not difficult with my library of cookbooks and my passion for cooking. The only criteria was that it should be easy and quick.

So last Sunday, I took a recipe from an old issue of Donna Hay and made Five-Spice Chicken in Rice Paper. I have included the original recipe and included my own adjustments for ingredients and amount. And Donna, it was delish!



Ingredients
3 teaspoons of salt
3 teaspoons of Chinese five-spice powder
4 chicken breast fillets, trimmed
16 small Asian rice paper rounds
2 green onions (scallions), sliced
peanut old for shallow frying

Dipping Sauce
 1/4 cup (2 fl oz) hoisin sauce
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon soy sauce

1. To make the dipping sauce, combine the hoisin sauce, lemon juice and soy sauce. Set aside.


2. Combine the salt and Chinese five-spice in a small bowl. Cut the chicken into 4 pieces each and sprinkle with the five-spice salt, coating all sides.


3. Place 1 rice paper round in a bowl of hot water and soak for 10 seconds or until soft.


4. Remove and place on a clean tea towel.


5. Place a piece of chicken one-third of the way from the base of the rice paper and top with some green onion.


6. Fold over the base and sides of the paper to enclose and roll up into a parcel, leaving the top edge unfolded.


7. Repeat with the remaining chicken, green onion and rice paper.


8. Heat the oil in a frying pan over medium heat.


9. Cook the parcels in batches for 2 minutes each side or until golden and cooked through.


10. Serve with the dipping sauce and the remaining five-spice salt. Serves 4.

Notes:

• I halved both the salt and five-spice powder as I was using half the amount of chicken.


• I bought the rice paper in a big pack of 22cm rounds, I found it too big, resulting in a thicker skin, thus making the rolls less crispy.


• We call 'scallions' spring onions locally, I could not find this in the NTUC I went to so I replaced it with seasoned seaweed, which was in my larder. I keep this as a staple in my larder as it is great on congee and cold cha soba.


• For the hoisin sauce, I found it hard to measure 1/4 cup so I used 4 tablespoons. I did not have lemons but did have a bunch of limes, so I replaced the lemon juice with lime juice.


• Step 2 - I did not bother with using a small bowl. I plonked all the cut chicken in a big mixing bowl and sprinkle in the salt and five-spice to mix.


• Step 4 - I tried to use kitchen paper - the rice paper would stick.  I switched back to the clean tea towel.


• Steps 3 - 6 - My daughter helped me (she is eight plus) and did all the wrapping. Great bonding time!


• Step 6 - It was too finicky trying to leave the top edge unfolded since my daughter was helping. I did it up like a spring roll instead.


• I make an extra dipping sauce with chili padi, lime juice and soy sauce. Delish!


• I garnished it with mint leaves from my own plants!

How NOT to be a perfectionist

Okay admit it. If you are not going to, I am. I am a perfectionist. There I said it.

As a working mother, there simply was no room for anything else. No compromises. The sheets have to be creaseless; the management report free of spelling errors; meals must be nutritious; kids must be dressed nicely; husbands must be kept happy; workmates must be kept impressed; the sales presentation must be professional; it must look effortless when entertaining friends, the house must be spotless and the food absolutely delish; I must look like I am Martha Stewart and Oprah Winfrey all rolled into one.

Back to earth, I think it is time I cut myself some slack. I can never be perfect, even though I should do my absolute best in everything I do, I can never be perfect.  I am not meant to be perfect, that's why I need God. I am not meant to be perfect, that's why I don't have to be emotionally balanced all of the time.  I am not meant to be perfect, that's why I make mistakes (is that even possible?).

Here are 10 ways how I give myself the permission to NOT be perfect. As I am not perfect, I fall down sometimes, trying to do some of these things.

1. It is okay for the kids clothes not to match up nicely when we go out.


2. It is okay to encounter difficulties managing a project at work; that's what they pay me for.


3. It is okay that the food does not look like the food pictures in Nigella's cookbook.


4. It is okay that the house is not spotless or the laundry is backed up.


5. It is okay to say "No" to another church meeting. God is not counting.


6. It is okay that Martha will never approve of the home made decorations for Christmas that look like roadkill.


7. It is okay that  I forgot about the conference call I was supposed to attend.


8. It is okay that I cannot find what I need because my filing is not up to date.


9. It is okay to freak out once in a while, making sure I don't do it too many times, irritating dear husband.


10. Finally, it is okay not to have alphabetised cans in my larder.

Perhaps you should start writing your own list?  Relax, it does not need to be perfect.

Kids Holiday Planning

Examinations are over and holidays are around the corner.  This is when the mad rush for holiday courses, meet the cartoon characters at the mall, special trips to the Science Centre gets planned out.  God forbid, one of them should mouth the words,"Mum! I am bored!".

Over the years, I have developed a list of websites to check on to see what I can plan for a more interesting and productive holiday for my kids.  This will also expose them to various activities and interests in a bid to find their passion in life.  At a minimum, they can say they have tried it and had fun.

It was all in my head but in the true spirit of decluttering my mind, I will put it in an organised list for everyone.  Please feel free to share in the comments section what your own list so everyone can benefit from it.

Here's my list.  All of the websites I go to research for activities below, most likely have an email subscription service or a Facebook page that you can join.  I do it for the ones that interest my family most so I don't miss out on the interesting stuff. 

1. People's Association
   The People's Association has a wide range of activities and courses for both the young and old.  Lifestyle courses like yoga or cooking appeals to all ages. They also have a section specifically for the kiddies.  Booking can be done online.  Most courses are held in Community Clubs - so you can choose the one nearest to home or where the kids are aka near gramps' place.  The courses are fairly economical so it is a great place to start.  Passion Card members get a discount.


2. SAFRA
   SAFRA works a lot like the PA.  The website is moderately easy to use and booking can also be done online. They have 5 club houses to choose from and some of the courses they offer may not be available in the PA website.  They also have other services like the Interest Clubs which provide additional privileges if you choose to join them.  These clubs are great if your family has a specific interest e.g. movies or travel.  If you are a member, you get discounts as well.


3. National Library Board
   I go to the GoLibrary link on the left navigation bar and search for events.  These include regular story telling sessions, crafts workshops and interesting talks.  Most of these are free so if you are on a budget, the library is a great place to be.  You can book activities and pay (if needed) online easily.  Since libraries are all over the island, more likely than not, you will be able to find activities that are near your place of preference.


4. National Parks Board
   If your family is outdoorsy, this is the website for you.  I am on their email subscription list so I get informed of activities like garden walks and educational talks.  Registration can be done online but payment is either by cash at the location or by mail in cheque prior to the activity.  I have sent my kids on a couple of activities and they enjoyed them.


5. National Heritage Board
   I don't always go to the parent website but to the various museums' websites.  My favourites are Asian Civilisations Museum, National Museum of Singapore and Singapore Art Museum.  Some of the great things are like family days and free entry to museum days.  The annual International Museum Day often brings carnivals, special exhibitions and art installations that are tailored for kids.  Tickets can be bought at SISTIC or at the location itself.


6. SportOnKids
   Set up by the Singapore Sports Council, it is a club that promotes healthy living through sports.  Paying just annual fee of $20, kids would have access to the sport activities that are organised by the club.  Most of these activities are try-one-time sort of format to gauge interest in children.  For example, my kids have done rock climbing, skating, motor-crossing, archery, yoga and even fencing.  Others include kayaking, Frisbee, handball, swimming and football.  As these cost either $5-$10 or nothing for members, it is a great way to expose children to the different sports activities.


7. Places of Interests
   These include the Singapore Zoo, the Jurong Bird Park, the Night Safari and the Science Centre.  These places normally have special exhibits, overnight camps and tours available during the school holidays.  I have done the specials but not tried the overnight camps with the animals yet.  The costs are normally high, but the model of the overnight camps are very interesting and helps in family bonding.  One other place is the Esplanade, which have free open concerts and would have interesting art activities during the different festivals.


8. Enrichment Centres
   These are great places to check out.  On top of their regular classes, they normally would do special courses for the school holidays.  This is also a great way to check the centres and their courses out, to see if they might be suitable for your kids before you shell out the big money for regular courses.  Here are some that I have used before and happy with the results.
   Eduplus Language Centre - Chinese courses
   Genius R Us- Baking and Entrepreneur courses
   Tony Buzan Learning Centre- Mindmapping and Creative Thinking courses
   Legrand School of Dance - Dance courses


9. Shopping Malls
   Go to the various websites of the shopping malls and undoubtedly you will find activities that are designed to attact kids and thus, their parents to the malls.  A lot of these activities are free and often comes with free gifts.  If luck has it that your kids are enamoured with the latest cartoon craze, then these would be fun for them to attend.  Beware of lines and often over zealous parents that may irk you with their 'kiasu' ways.  All in all this is a great option if you also have shopping to do.  Something suitable for the whole family.  Here are some links to start you off.
   CapitaMalls Asia
   AsiaMalls
   Takashimaya

Other than these activities, don't forget the usual favourite family activities like, travelling, swimming, having a meal together, cooking a meal together, visiting a park and catching a movie.  After all, what matters is for the kids to have a fruitful and relaxing holiday break.

10 Things I Love About Me

I started the post with the title "10 Things I Hate About Me", an inspiration to a reality show on BBC Lifestyle Channel, "What I Hate About Me".  Then I thought to myself, there is really too much negativity in the world, why add to it?  Thus, I am going to write about 10 things I love about me. 

Too many times, I hold myself to impossible standards and then, when I cannot achieve my goals, I think very little of myself.  This is a sure fire way of breaking down a person's confidence, self esteem and ego.  I am sure lots of you working mothers out there do the same.  It is difficult to be a super career woman AND a super mum.  Don't beat yourself up too much when things don't go your way.    Think about the things that you do love about yourself.  This will help you to pick up the pieces and move on.

1. I love that I can talk to ANYONE
   When I say ANYONE, I mean ANYONE!  Dear husband is always amaze at how I can be such good friends with the cab driver after a 30 min ride.  I can talk incessantly about the most inconsequential thing.  Annoying sometimes to people around me, but boy, do I melt cold people fast!


2. I love that I know how to use a screwdriver, a spanner and a saw
   During the course of my life, I had to learn to use these tools.  I know some women have never even touch them much less use them!  I am sure if I put my mind to it, I can change a flat tire, change a light bulb and even change my kids' minds that vegetables are the coolest food to eat!  I did set up this blog single handedly!


3. I love that I don't mind making people laugh by being silly
   I don't mind being silly, in fact, sometimes I love it!  This helps me relax and when my friends laugh, it makes me feel good that I contributed to their well being.


4. I love that I can whip up a decent meal with just 5 ingredients in under 20 minutes
   Here's my dear husband's favourite pasta dish - Pesto Pasta

Ingredients
200g long pasta (spaghetti works best)
50g pine nuts
60g bottled pesto sauce (I like Barilla best)
Shaved or grated Parmesan cheese to taste
Salt for cooking pasta

Method
1. Bring to boil salted water in pasta pan or any deep pan.
2. In the meantime, place pine nuts on dry pan on low heat to dry roast, while flipping them ensuring even roasting.
3. Cook pasta according to packet instructions.
4.  Drain pasta, add pesto sauce, Parmesan cheese (the heat will slowly melt the cheese), and the roasted pine nuts.
5. Mix and serve 2 greedy people.

1. I love that I can remember important dates
   Birthdays, anniversaries, tests, coming-back-from-holiday-day - I can remember them all.  Dear husband would look at me in amazement everytime I rattle off the dates.


2. I love that I can cut fruits really quickly and really nicely
   I learnt to cut fruits - even the big old watermelons and honey dews - from the best, my mum!  Even I have to say they are pretty decent and I love to present them attractively on platters when we entertain friends.


3. I love my eyes
   They were God-given and I have received many compliments since as long as I can remember.  Piercingly black, I use them many a times to discipline my brood without a word.


4. I love that I have a soft spot for kids
   Dear husband and I donate money annually to our favourite charities.  Inevitably, the ones I choose are always related to helping children.  I would do anything to protect a child from harm.


5. I love that I am an organizer
   Okay, this may drive some folks around me crazy.  But you have to admit that it is pretty cool to be able to direct someone on the phone directly to a document that is dated 3 years ago on a shelf in the office without being there in person.


6. I love that I have a loud voice
   I have never thought about this as a quality that I love about myself.  This exercise revealed that the volume of my voice is directly related to my vitality and enthusiasm for life.  If you find me quiet, you really should be concerned!

YOUR TURN!

How Technology Changed My Life

When I first started work, I only had a pager.  For those of you who remember, these are small gadgets that one could call with the phone number that you want the owner to call back on.  Often, my dear husband (at that time my dear boyfriend) and I would send each other codes like 9-12-21 to say "I love you".  Basic but it worked.   Other than pre-arranged codes, there was no other way of contacting each other on the road and we all lived that way.

So in came the mobile phones.  My dear husband skipped lunches to save for a mobile phone for me.  It was an Ericsson (Sony has not bought Ericsson yet) and probably twice the size of any average phone now.  All it could do was call out, receive calls - there was no option to do texting or play games, much less surf the web or take pictures.

I cherished that phone.  It was a sign of my dear husband's devotion to my well being.  It lasted for years and was really reliable.  It meant that there were less missed connections and we were able to get each other easily.

Then there was the laptop.  The first laptop I got was a company issued machine that was used by my predecessor.  It was a chunky Toshiba and would hang several times a day, despite my best efforts to keep it in good health.  I assured you that it was sweared at quite a few times a day.  It was really heavy and I would get a sore shoulder carrying it around to my client sites for meetings. 

Every few years, I would get my laptop upgraded (company policy to keep up to date technologically).  I cannot remember all the in-betweens but my latest is a Fujitsu Lifebook, T series - a slick tablet, barely 1.3 kg in weight - not topline but compared to my chunky Toshiba, this is a godsend.

Between my mobile phone and my laptop, and all the fantastic technological advancements, I was able to answer emails, prepare a client presentation, do a conference call with my workmates, update my status on Facebook, chat with my friend via Instant Messaging whom I have not seen in a while online, put in an online order for my son's birthday cake, play some games for relaxation, research on the recipes for Sunday lunch, see if my ebay item has been bought, take pictures of my kids and uploading it on Flickr, text a happy birthday wish to my sister, sync up my Outlook calendar on my mobile phone so that I would not miss my appointments and more.

I could live my whole life like this.  In reality, I could stay at home the whole day and yet still able to do what I did 10 years ago at probably half the time.

How has it changed my life?  Let's talk about the good things first.  I am more productive and efficient.  This gives me the sense of achievement that would be few and far between in the past.  I am able to juggle better as a working mother, knowing that I could pay a bill online rather than having to queue up at the bank.  Information is just a click away so I am better informed and able to make better decisions.  I am better connected to my friends and their lives.  Things move faster with the phone and Instant messaging, thus issues get resolved faster as well.  As my kids belong to the generation of instant gratifications, by being up to date, I am staying relevant as a parent and also able to communicate with them in terms they understand.  I am writing this post, sitting at the bar counter in my kitchen - thanks to wireless technology - and having a cup of coffee at the same time.

There is always 2 sides to a coin.  Being more productive and efficient means that I am expected to do more as a professional.  This means that I am always on and stress levels go up.  Text messages from workmates and clients come around the clock; once they see you online on instant messaging, before you know it, it is 1 am in the morning.  Distraction by technology is also an issue in my life.  I often catch myself or dear husband pouring over Facebook updates and games on a weekend when we really should be spending time with family.  Every text message has to be answered and every email has to be responded to.  My kids are also addicted to surfing the web or watching videos or playing online games.  If they were not allowed to use the computer, the complain I get would be, "But I am bored!  What should I do?".  When did kids start not know what to do with free time?

For the last few weeks, I have been shutting down my laptop and leaving it off for the entire weekend.  It is liberating and on every Monday, there is never anything that is even close to the sky falling down!  I am working on ways to changing my habit to deal with the downside of technology. 

What have you been doing to get back the part of your life that technology has taken away?

PS : I later found in my inbox an article from Simple Marriage on a similar topic, title "Leave Your Work (Mostly) At Work"!  Enjoy!

Managing Family Finances - Planning

This is Part 1 of a 3 part series on tips and tricks of managing family finances. 

With a growing family of 6, it is prudent that my dear husband and I are careful with all our resources.  Of course the root of all our resources is really money.  So, if we manage our money well, then each dollar would go a longer way in providing our needs.  This is not to say we turned into tight wads, but it is more not to squander our hard-earned money on poor purchases or extravagant spending.  What I am going to be sharing is based purely on personal experience and in no way, be viewed as professional advice.

In the first part, I would like to share some of the measures we put in place for our long terms goals and emergency financial readiness.

1  Have a will done
We have been advised early on in our planning by our financial adviser to have will done.  Being the sandwich generation of having 4 kids and 4 parents to support, it is imperative that we have a plan should anything happen to us.  Having a will done here in Singapore amounts nothing more than a few decisions (e.g. who to execute your will, who will be the legal guardians of the kids), some time, and a fee to the lawyer.  After going through it, I strongly recommend that you put this at the top of your priority list to safeguard your family's future.  Another thing to note is that, after the will is done, it should be revisited every few years to make sure changing needs are met (e.g. additional kids, change in financial status)

2  Sort out your insurance strategy
I am no expert and leave it to them to advise on the various products on the market.  For us, we approached an independent financial adviser to help us evaluate this portion.  As he is not attached to any individual firm, he had access to products from many different companies.  As such, we were able to compare the features and premium attached to each product and evaluate more fairly what we need.  After the exercise we had the following in place:

- Life Insurance
  This was in place before we spoke to our FA, the decision is to keep it going as the coverage is fairly complete.

 - Health Insurance
  Even though we each have various forms of health insurance from our employers, we wanted to make sure everyone in our family is covered in a comprehensive surgical and hospital plan.  We figured, the payments for normal illness would be affordable but we don't want to be hit with things like cancer, organ transplant, heart attacks, strokes, which requires long term expensive care. 

- Education Plans
  In Singapore, we contribute 20% of our gross income into CPF (Central Provident Fund) that we can use for housing, education, healthcare and retirement.  By the time our first 2 kids are ready to attend university, we should have enough to fund a local university education for both.  However, for our next 2 kids, the funds may already have been depleted.  Thus, we bought 2 education plans with an annual premium.  This will ensure that we have a plan in place for their future educational needs.

- Home Insurance
  Most Singaporeans, whether living in public or private housing, would have some kind of home insurance in place.  However, these normally only cover the external areas of the housing.  So any fire or theft INSIDE the housing will not be covered.  Losing all the valuables and especially our precious family photographs is painful enough.  This is something I bought to ensure that we get to replace the contents of our house. 

- Home Mortgage Insurance
  Again, most of us would have some kind of insurance if we are in public housing.  The premium is usually a really small price to pay.  Should one of the spouses dies or has a permanent disability, this insurance would cover for one or both mortgage payments.  For private properties, this is especially important since the mortgage is usually much higher than for public housing.

3  Start an Emergency Fund
The usual standard that you will read everywhere is to have at least 6 months worth of expenses saved up in your Emergency Fund.  My suggestion is to have a up to a year.  This is my reason - a large part of our income is going towards payments of mortgage, car and insurance premiums, thus, if I lose my job, I may not have much time to reduce that amount.  It takes time to sell the car or adjust the payment amounts on the mortgage and insurance premiums, which may take a few months.  Having an Emergency Fund of up to a year's worth of expenses would give us the time we need to adjust the family spending and put in other strategies to increase income.

4 Invest Invest Invest
Old advice I know, but very important.  A lot of my friends choose to be conservative and not invest or invest in instruments that result in low returns.  Time is on my side, I choose to invest slightly aggressively while educating myself on the various instruments.  When I talk to my financial advisor, I am well informed and thus, able to make good decisions around what to invest.  This will make sure my money work hard for me in the long run.  Yes, we win some we lose some - the eventual goal is to have a good net positive on the returns of investment.  Not investing will ensure I will not have any growth at all.  In fact, with inflation, not investing is a sure way of ensuring my money drops in value.

5 Manage your debt
Seems like the most common sense thing to do.  This needs to be employed in tandem with the above strategies.  If not, all the growth that we gain will be eroded our debts.  My debts at this point of my life includes housing and car loans - these are relatively low interest loans.  I avoid all kinds of consumer debt e.g. outstanding balances on my credit cards or credit lines.  I pay up every month.  I go as far to consolidate my credit cards and have no credit line.  If you have a healthy Emergency Fund, you really do not need a credit line.

In the next part, I will be covering tips and tricks that I use on a daily basis to stretch every dollar we earn.

Moving House

Okay the deed is done.  I have finally moved my family of 6 with 10 years worth of stuff.  In the midst of closing a million dollar deal at work.

It took more than a month to plan, pack, move and unpack.  I was also crazy enough to move a week before Chinese New Year.  Tensions were high in the household with the lack of sleep and the many decisions that have to be made at short notice.  I highly do not recommended it and certainly do not want to inflict this even on my worst enemy (well, maybe if it is the worst one!). 

And yes, the rumour is true.  Unpacking is way scarier than packing.

After my very "harrowing" experience of moving, here's a list of tips and tricks that may help to reduce the pain.

1. Tools
   
   Here's a list of tools you may need for the move :
   a. Moving boxes
   b.  Marker pens in various colours - Black for writing and Red for labeling
   c.  Packing Tape - Plastic for sealing and paper for labeling
   d.  Old newspapers and bubble wrap - For breakables
   e.  Pen
   f.  Clipboard with lined paper
   g. A basket or bag to carry everything in
   
   Putting all your tools in one basket or bag makes sure you don't lose anything in the process of packing.
   


2. Declutter
   
   Before you move the junk you may have accumulated over the years, from one home to another, consider decluttering first.  For me, I threw away at least 40% of the stuff in my old home.  This ensured that I not just move everything, but only things that are useful or that I cannot live without.
   


3. Organise
   
   After you declutter, you should organise all your stuff into boxes or storage containers that you could essentially just place directly on new storage space.  For example, dear husband packed the tool box and cleaned it up before the move.  When it got to the new place, we put it directly into the yard cupboard.  It was the same with the first aid kid, my art materials and the sewing tools.  I also organised the kids' stuff this way.  After the moving was done, I could ask my kids to pack their own rooms.  It was much easier for everyone not needing to run around the house looking for their own stuff.
   


4. Categorise
   
   Make sure that when you pack those moving boxes, you label the following things on the box :
   a.  A running number
   b.  The room it should go to e.g. Master Bedroom
   c.  The representing letter for the room e.g. MB
   d.  The contents of the box e.g. Financial Files
   Other items such as chairs or electical applicances should also be labeled. 
   
   This helps with 2 things :
   a.  On moving day, all the rooms / areas in your house should be labeled e.g. I put a big label on my Master Bedroom door that had red letters "MB" on it. This helped the movers move the boxes to the correct room / areas of my house, WITHOUT me telling them.  So everything that has "MB" labeled on it will be move to the room with the "MB" label.
    b.  If there is an urgent need, you know exactly which box to open for a certain item since it is properly labeled.
   A list is then kept of all the boxes / items.  After the move, it can also serve as a checklist to make sure you have not lost anything.  In the event an item is lost, you can claim for insurance easily, since you know exactly what is in the box.
   
   One more thing, do not overpack!  You do not want the boxes to give way and all your stuff on the floor during the move.
   


5. Moving
   
   a.  Make sure you have the tool basket described in 1 with you, together with a prepared cheque for the movers.  This way you will not be hunting for your cheque book in the midst of all the mess.
   b.  Engage the help of family or friends to be lookouts during the moving process.  Some can be at the old place and some at the new.  Additional pair of eyes is useful for both security as well as to make sure everything that needs to be moved is moved.
   c.  Get ready cleaning cloths at the new place as furniture and shelves may need to be cleaned before unpacking.
   d.  Protect any new furniture that may have been moved in before moving day.
   e.  Best if you could engage family or friends or a baby sitter to watch the kids.  This is really not a family activity, at least not for me, since I want it done quick and fuss free.
   


6. Unpacking
   
   Set yourself a target and finish unpacking in that timeframe.  This is because if you don't have an end date, you end up with one of two things.  You either never finish unpacking that last 5 boxes of stuff and they sit in the corner of your study OR you are constantly unpacking for the next year that you live there.  Because we have a hard stop date of the Chinese New Year, we took vacation leave from work, left the kids with their grandparents and then worked really hard for a week to get unpacked.  No, we still have not really unpacked some of the smaller boxes but they are where they should be.

Most of the move is still really hard work, but all the above tips should put you in a better position to manage the process and actually leave you some time to enjoy the new home!  Happy moving!

It's All About Choices

It is all about choices, isn't it?  Life is made up of choices that we all have to make.  To marry or not, to marry this person or that, to have kids or not, to have 2 kids or 4, to work or stay home, to trust or not, to love or not - these are all choices.

Right or wrong, good or bad - we also have to live with the consequences of our choices.

Ever since I became a mother 10 years ago, I have been struggling with this one choice that I made.  Although you can say I don't have much of a choice since we were just starting off our lives and money was important to our survival.  I chose to continue working instead of staying at home with my son. 

Subsequently, every year, I had the opportunity to revisit this choice but I never really did.  At that time, I work from home.  So even though I was working in my bedroom, I could occasionally take breaks and play with my son.

I had 8 years of bliss.  I held a great job that allowed me to hone my skills professionally and yet allowed me more connection and time with my family.  These 8 years saw me raise 3 kids.  Funny enough, during these 8 years, I often lamented about how nice to be able to work in an actual office with actual colleagues.  After 8 years, the company I was working for decided that they would have an actual physical office instead of virtual ones. 

I never knew what hit me.  It might not have been apparent to my colleagues, but my family felt the change.  In a big way.  I struggled every single day trying to cope with the change.  I was like the duck, seemingly calm above the surface, gliding along, but underneath the surface, I was paddling like crazy.

I don't think I ever recovered from it.  I am still paddling but not as crazy as before.  Why?  Because I made some choices to keep some things the way they were and to give up other things.

This choice that I made 10 years ago, I struggle with it every single day.  My babies are growing up and I am not there enough to see it.  I crave to have more time with them, to understand and discover them, to stand by them and comfort them.  I want to stay at home and watch them grow but more than ever, I need to have a constant stream of income. 

I see my friends all around me struggling with that as well.  You might say I should get comfort from that, but I don't.  Everytime I see a Facebook update on how they are struggling with their own problems - trying help kids adjust to school life, friends fall ill because they have no help, not enough time to love their kids - I feel sad.  Like I say, we have to live with the consequences of the choices we make.  They may not be choices that we want to make but choices we have to make - either way, we have to live with the consequences.

I know this seems like a sad and depressing post.  It is meant to be.  However, by recognizing and admitting to the conflicts and dilemmas that I face on a daily basis, by identifying my challenges - I then see how I can overcome them, how I can then make other choices that can get me out of this conflict, this dilemma. 

I know I will, I just need to choose to make that choice.

Best Sweet Potato Chips in the World

“Said Aristotle unto Plato,
'Have another sweet potato?'
Said Plato unto Aristotle,
'Thank you, I prefer the bottle.'”

Owen Wister (1860-1938) American novelist

I am with Aristotle on that one.

The best food in life is the food that has the least messing around.  No insecticides, no preservatives, no additional processing, no over seasoning. Cooking for my family and friends, I find that the recipes that worked best often are the simplest and has the least amount of cooking.  If you think that by spending a long time in the kitchen, whipping up an elaborate meal is a show of culinary prowess, it is more than further from the truth.  All family and friends want, is really spending time with you.  I have had many meals with just 1 main dish or with half the meal bought, and everyone had loads of fun.

I love chips; potatoes, parsnip, sweet potatoes, yam, lotus root (yes, I tried that and it was heavenly), anything that I can slice (and are root vegetables!) I can make into chips.

I made these sweet potato chips once as a side dish to steak and mushy peas.  The chips became the highlight of dinner and my brood of 4 kids and 1 husband were delighted and gave it more marks than the steak and mushy peas, which took a longer time.  Needless to say, I was surprised as it had not taken much effort.  Here's what I did.

Best Sweet Potato Chips in the World

Ingredients

3 large Sweet Potatoes

Method

1. Remove the skin off the sweet potatoes and soak them in salt water as you work.  Sweet potatoes tend to oxidise when cut and turn an unattractive brown.


2. Using any vegetable peeler, slice sweet potato lengthwise into thin slices.


3. Dry them thoroughly with kitchen towels/clean tea towels and place in fridge to dry out for about 1 hour.


4. I used vegetable oil but you could pretty much use any frying oil.  Deep fry them until slight golden brown.


5. Serves 4 as a side and 1 as a greedy craving.

I have used them as sides but you could use them for family movie nights or a starter.  I have never tried them with a dip yet but I encourage you to try with your favourites.  How about also experimenting with other vegetables?  I would love to hear what works for you!

Why I wrote my last post

If you read my last post, you will see that I listed out the ways that I found work for me as a working mother - Juggling Work and Family.

What I did not explain was why I wrote my last post.  Although it was a challenge from dear husband to list the ways I cope with my busy life, it was my first born son that inspired the last post.

We were chatting (yes I do have time to chat with my kids!), and he told me about his friends in school.  They complained that their parents are always too tired to do anything with them.  Normally they would have 1 or 2 other siblings.  Most have live-in helpers as surrogate caretakers, although some have grandparents.  Others may even lived with their grandparents and only see their parents on weekends.  What puzzled him was why we did not have a live-in helper, our kids did not stay with the grandparents and yet quality time with 4 kids is not eroded.

Now, you must understand that I have a very special little boy here.  He thinks in a very different way from his peers and even from us.  So when he talked to me about this, I was not surprised at all.  I explained that perhaps their parents work long hours and was really drained at the end of the day.  He pointed out that we too were tired, but we still spend time talking to them and doing things together.  Plus, if his friends has a live-in helper, then would that not help the parents not be too tired from the house chores? (and yes we do the house chores ourselves!)

I could tell my efforts in trying to give him time daily from my busy schedule was important to him.  This conversation reminded me that he needs me to be in his life and that he needs to be in mine.  That every conversation, every sharing, every game, every movie, every holiday, every "Mummy, mummy, I have something to show/tell you" answered is important to him.  Even every argument, as I am at least there to have it with him! 

My quest does not stop here.  Although my son may think I am doing a great job, there is always room for improvement.  So I simply have to keep challenging myself to find new ways to keep improving the quality of my interactions with him and being there for him. 

I hope that when the time comes, he will come to me and say, "Mummy, there is this girl...", and I will be more than happy to part of that chapter of his life.

Juggling Work and Family

"How do you manage?"

I get asked that question a lot.  My cheeky answer is always,"I don't.  I struggle."  While that gets lots of laughs and knowing grins, working mothers do REALLY want to know how to manage better. 

After much trial and error, I finally have a method to all the madness, juggling a full time job with a large growing family, that works for me.  Hopefully these practical tips and tricks would also help you in keeping insanity at bay.

1. Draw the line between work and home
   I have outlined how to do that in my previous post - How to draw the line between work and home.


2. Have strict time routine
   This is a a strictly enforced rule in my household.  For instance, bedtime for the kids is at 9pm.  No bargaining, no negotiation, no exceptions.  Even on weekends and schoool holidays (okay, perhaps we bend it sometimes).  This ensures that I have a few hours of time spent either with my dear husband or just some alone time.  The other time routines are waking times, mealtimes, time to move out in the mornings - by keeping to these times strictly, the family knows what to expect and can manage themselves accordingly.


3. Unclutter your life routine
   For instance, I do not cook a separate meal for the younger kids when they turn 2 years old.  This will take 1 thing off my very long list of things to do.  Another thing I do is not to visit the supermarket daily.  I have a running shopping list and try my utmost best to visit only once a week.  This saves time and money.


4. Reduce your committments
   Having another new fanangle enrichment class for your kids, or saying yes to serving in another committee is not going to help you in your quest for balance.  Give time to the only ones that really matter to you and your family.  Remember that most times, when you say yes to such committments, you are in effect saying no to spending time with your family or no to having time to yourself.


5. Delegate
   Not just to husbands or helpers, but to your kids.  My older kids are 10 and 8 years old.  They can make simple breakfasts and snacks for themselves and others, help the younger kids with dressing up and going to the toilet, help to watch their siblings when we are busy with other tasks and also clear and wash their own used cups and dishes.  Before we leave the house, one would open the door and the other would close all the windows in the house.  This not only relieves me from the nitty gritty tasks, it also trains the kids to be more independent.


6. Relax!
   Nevermind if the beds are not made on some days or the children eats junk on others.  By not wanting to always be perfect, I am a more relaxed mother and can focus on things that really matter like understanding and talking to my kids.  Surprise surprise - my dear husband in turn is also more relaxed and therefore, more loving to me.


7. Carve out time for your marriage and yourself
   The "after 9pm" time slot is fiercely guarded, as illustrated in my previous post - No.  The time with my dear husband is important in keeping our love and passion alive.  I also have alone times that I spent sleeping, playing games or writing.  This makes sure that I have time to be me and not just mum or wife.  Guess what that does to my soul?


8. Work with your husband
   While it is nice to have a husband who could read your mind and do the things you want him to do (let's not get ahead of ourselves), most times, it is actually more efficient and effective to tell him (gasp!).  My dear husband tells me it is a relief to know what I want and need exactly as he can then proceed to meet those needs.  Hmm, looks like another post to help our dear husbands!  Stay tuned, gentlemen!

What do you do that works for you in mastering the delicate task of balancing your life?